The Nursing Home Series
This set of monsters looked like senior citizens, so I made up a story line about nursing home residents. They all band together to thwart the evil gerontologist who performs experiments on them. Click on a characters’ name to visit its gallery.

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Dr. Morticius Drathmave, Gerontologist
Yes, little do my residents know, their lives may be longer than expected. I’m working the kinks out of an immortality serum. If I can find out what makes people age, stay old, then stay alive long after the nation’s supply of social security money has been completely expended and then some for the next twenty generations, I can concentrate it, and make it into a serum. I will make BILLIONS on the international immortality market! My assistant, Mr. Umi currently poisons.. I mean.. doses my residents with the special green pills which send data, encoded as a radioactive discharge, back to my supercomputers. I read the data and discover what makes these ancients stay so ancient but never die! The pills, unfortunately, have a selective reduction effect. That means they kill some of the residents. I’ll never know who’s next!!

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Shirley Mae Venus
Hi, honey! I'm yo Gramma Shirley! You don't have to be my real grandbabies to call me Grandma, I loves you just the same! I got so many grandbabies I done lost count!

This nursing home I live in is some foolishness, I tell you. I has to have my grandkids bring me my ham hocks and collard greens 'cause the food here is nasty. Taste like somebody run over they cat an stick it in the microwave!

But I likes Mr. Mercy. He comes by, makes sure I got my heat turned up and sometimes I gives him a tug offa my flask. I'mma adopt him if I ever gets outta here. But keep that nasty, ugly Mr. Umi outta my room. I'mma smack him so hard if he brings me them green pills again. Made me so sick I 'bout punch through a wall last time I took those.

But come on by and see me soon!

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Sir Maximus Wilson
Back in my day, I was KING! Not just aaaaaa king, but THE SUPREME KING OF ALL I COULD SEE! If I could see it, I was king over it! Those were the happy times, when I was a Gladiator. I went from village to village gladiating the live long day. I owned all of Here and I even conquered There.

But my glory has faded. I waste away in Drathmave's Ever After Twilight Home. My chariot has been replaced for a smelly, old bed and a motor chair that only works half the time.

I tried to gladiate the nursing home, but I just don't got it in me anymore. Ah well. I've got my memories to keep me warm. And about a thousand maidens (well, they ain't maidens anymore, hee hee) who are still my legal property. I sure wish they'd visit.

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Raymond Lamaar Jackson
I'm the bus driver at Drathmave's Ever After Twilight Home and I see the residents to and from their outings. It can get pretty boring since all we ever see is the library and the park.

Ms. Shirley Mae always wants to go dancing, but I don't think she can handle it. She's always calling me "son" and wants me to sit in her lap. I laugh it off, tell her how can I drive when I'm sitting on her knee? She always says "come find out, honey!"

The residents usually hate it when it's time to come back to the home. Can't say I blame 'em. It's pretty dismal in there, all those nice old folks just waiting to die. But I make sure the bus is nice and full of music they enjoy. There's something creepy about that place, so I wanna stick around as long as I can. Make sure things go okay.

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Mister Umi
I am Dr. Drathmave’s willing assistant. Not a thing there is I will not do for him, yes. He is my master, yes he is.. he is.. The residents all think I’m a common orderly, but they have no idea of my power. For I am second only to the Doctor, and therefore his power is practically mine. Still, I must change the bedpans and administer sponge baths to the squishy, squashy residents. It makes me want to die. But with the Doctor as my master, soon I shall never die. For one day his serum will work, yes. And I will take it. And rule the earth at the Doctor’s side. Indeed. Yes.