A Town of Distinction
The little town of Wyrie, St. Mlaud bears a terrible secret. Beneath its surface lies a sentient collective of petroleum based entities with a hunger for flesh. Each day the citizens of Wyrie must be smart to avoid being absorbed by the living ooze. Stepping on a crack might not break your mother’s back, but that would be the more appealing alternative. The town bolsters its tourism industry to lure hapless visitors to their doom, satiating the violent “Petroids” and living for yet another day.

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Bernal Umphries
I'm Bernal Umphries. My daddy named me after his mama Bernalope. She was pretty. I'm 86 years old and can still dance a mean lindy. Fifty years back I married my daughter Ester off to some fellow from out of town. He took the whole town of Wyrie by the throat and throwed us all for a loop. We ain't never seen Ester since and I ain't never been the same. I hope to find this charlatan one day and jerk a knot in 'im.
Anyways.

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Mr. Edward Tamany
My name is Ed. I've been running the editorial page at the Wyrie Review for going on fifty years. And I'm danged tired. Nothing ever happens in this town, unless you consider that scandal surrounding old Ester Baleverson, Bernal's daughter. I never married, not for lack of trying, but I do got a son. We don't speak much and I aim to change that. He's out in the world now and probably has kids of his own I suspect.

IMG_6651Larson Umphries
I’m amazed my uncle’s survived as long as he has in that stupid town.