The Stupid Creatures are Eating our Brains

SSC Kit users made a video!

2008-04-24T12:16:00.002-07:00

AAWWWW!! I'm touched!!

This one was made by youtuber TMARINEO

And this video shows a creature made by a fan, INDICARAINBOW, and given to her mom..

Etsy, Jobs and stuff

2008-03-30T02:22:00.000-07:00

So, the Etsy shop is going pretty well. I've got more to upload and I'm hoping Ian's gonna be ready with some stuff soon too. He's making some really great figures right now, you guys, and I can't wait for you to see 'em.

I've just applied to the Piedmont Craftsmen and the Carolina Designer Craftsmen guilds here in NC. My portfolios will be reviewed this April. If I get into these guilds I'll have great opportunities for shows and conventions. It'll be a good thing for sure.

The client for the vinyl sculpts job I did last winter has hired me again. I'll be revisiting one of the vinyl characters and producing a plush prototype of it. My deadline's the end of April. Gotta bust arse on this one!! It's not without its complexities!!

The same client has been acting as a rep for my portfolio out in the Big Toy Company World for several years now. He'll be pitching my stuff to a new prospective producer this Wednesday. Wish us luck. We have a good feeling about this one!!

Today, in a few minutes, actually, I'm going to get up and put on running shorts to run the ING half marathon here in Atlanta with my brother James. It's raining. We'll be fine. At least it isn't sweltering.

What the eff does "ETSY" mean anyway?

2008-03-15T14:51:00.000-07:00

Well well wellllll Look who went out on a limb and joined the hugest online craft bazaar in the whole wide.. WE DID!!

Sho nuff!

We've only got one item listed so far, but there'll be more coming, just you wait.

Have a look at the shop and give us some feedback!

John

I got the sculpts job shipped off today

2008-02-04T19:14:00.001-08:00

What a relief. This morning I had a nightmare about missing my shipping deadline. I was up last night till midnight finishing up. I'd come to a point at which I just said forget packing tonight, I've got school to teach in the morning and I've got to sleep.

I set my alarm for 5 a.m., and sure enough I awoke at quarter till. I'd been sleeping fitfully anyway. I know I'm prone to want to sleep later when I set an early alarm, even when time is precious, so I can't say I truly fell asleep last night.

I dreamed I was in a sprawling, contemporary mansion with a nondescript brother who was neither James nor Joey (my real-life brothers), my step mother Janine (as herself), and an old man I'd never seen before.

I dreamed my car was stuck in my bedroom, and that my bedroom was flooded with water. I'd missed my shipping deadline, and I thought for a brief, relieving moment that I could just send the shipment the next day. But then the thought occurred to me that my client NEEDED the shipment the next day.

I announced I was going to drive to So. Cal. myself and drop the package off in time. I'd drive all night if I had to.

My step mother, in her reliable, realistic way went (paraphrase) Come on, John. L.A. is 6 hours away by car (it's actually several days away from Asheville). Just send it tomorrow. Let it be a day late. And anyway, your car is swimming in your room. How did you plan to drive it?

I woke before my alarm. I was relieved, but still tense. I fished a shipping label from a previous shipment to this client out of an ocean of unfiled paperwork on my desk. It still had his current information on it. I was relieved. I stuck it in the inside coat pocket of the jacket I planned to wear today. I made myself a nice breakfast, brushed my teeth a full two minutes, dressed and left for the studio.

I shot crisp, new photos of the set of sculpts and individually bundled each item in the same stuffing I use for my creatures, and wrapped each pile in a page from an old MAD magazine. I labeled each one and boxed them in sets.

Into the car they went, with a stuffed toy as a thank-you token for my client. There they stayed till this afternoon when I packed everything up in one big box and FedExed it to its intended home.

So. Wish my items luck. May they hit their mark and attract more work for me in this field. The experience was harrying and amazing. My skills were pushed, challenged and ultimately augmented.

If my client hires me again, I will work for him. Ball's in his court. Or it shall be when he gets the package.

Just stressing a little.. The good kind, but still..

2008-02-01T13:04:00.000-08:00

So. I've got a really great client out in LA. He wasn't always a client. He's a talent broker who has been pimping my portfolio to folks who could give me a toy/animation contract. I won't go into detail. Nondisclosure and all that.

So he recently hired me to do the original sculpts for a set of accessories for a line of toys he's got going. Once again, hush hush, nondisclosure and all that. You'll know soon enough so let that be that.

I'm working with polymer clay, Super Sculpey to be exact. It's a great, resilient material. The work is tiny and extremely detailed. I can sculpt like nobody's business, but I've never worked so tiny before. And because this job could invite similar work if I nail it, I've never stressed so badly over the details.

Anyway, I'm shipping it all out Monday and I can't wait. It's high time I got back to sewing and filling creature orders. So, that said, wish me well as I finish all this up. There have already been revisions out the wazoo (my client has seen preliminary photos of the whole process and his feedback is awesome), so I'll be glad to get the finished shooting match out the door and into his waiting hands.

That's it for now!

Myspace Hiatus

2008-01-30T10:16:00.001-08:00

Hi, Everyone..

Just to let you know, I'll be taking a 2-week break from Myspace to test a theory. I've got some software that tracks and catalogs my browsing trends, and it says I'm looking at a lot of elicit material. I know I'm not, but I do know that myspace presents gratuitous dating ads featuring these great, flopping boobies with giggling women attached to them and various other links to stuff I never pursue. I'm gonna see how a break from myspace affects the assessment of my browsing patterns. If you want to write me at Myspace, please do. I'll check back in soon. Otherwise, drop email me at john (at) stupidcreatures (dot) com. If online networking sites are your mainstay, you can also find me on Facebook and Livekite.

I'm working on a new order form

2008-01-30T09:56:00.000-08:00

Hi, Everyone.

It's high time I revamped my custom service. For several years now I've asked only a blanket price per stupid creature, but now each order will be priced case by case.

We'll start with a simple, two-sock creature at a base price. You will be given a limited number of basic features that we can arrange how you like (within known physical laws), and one freebie from a list of provided features. Extra features, like more arms/legs, wings, horns, a tongue or extra eyes, can be added a-la-carte, and will be priced per feature.

The base rate is going to be less than what I'm asking now. Theoretically, more people will react well to the new price and place more orders for simpler creatures that we'll have no problem cranking out quickly. And should a customer want a more elaborate creature, we will be glad to provide, because we'll be receiving compensation for the extra work we're putting into the piece.

Customers can still request a remake or an imitation of a previously-made creature, and will be able to predict its cost based on the price of any added features necessary to imitate the desired item. Know what I mean? For complex creatures like Christinabelle, who features 8 legs, a skirt and a purse, you may want to drop us an email first to see how much such a monster will cost you before you go filling out your order form.

For our ready-made items, I've set up a shop on Etsy.com. We have yet to fill it with anything since we're under contract for a different job right now and haven't been sewing since the holidays. We'll be featuring our Slow Children Playing, ready made items like Hidey Berrz and Lullards, and other stuffed creations we think you might like.

We think all of you will like the new direction Stupid Creatures is taking, and in the meantime, we welcome your feedback.

Very busy artist.

2008-01-26T05:04:00.001-08:00

Hello.

Some things: If you want to sell the work you make from my book, you can. Just don't call 'em Stupid Creatures, give 'em different names (besides Syd, Wronky, Estelle, etc.), and try to make new and different creations.

Production items, such as lullards and hidey berrz (see previous post) are on hiatus while I reorganize some things in the studio and in my head.

To those whose custom job orders I received last month (December, '07), I'm beginning the work this weekend. Thank you for checking in. I will post more detailed updates as new things occur.

To those customers who think they've waited too long for their custom job: Bear in mind, at any given time no matter when you place your order, you're probably 10th in line or so. Buying custom art is not for the impatient. Please abandon the notion that plush toy design is easy and/or quick just because it's plush. For some artists it might be, but I wager our products differ remarkably in appearance and detail.

And a note about materials: The very best way for you to know you'll like the color and the pattern of your Stupid Creature is to send me the item you want me to transform into your monster. I get the most outlandish requests for prints, patterns and colors which might not even exist. And while I tout this service as "custom," recycling and reuse are almost part of the Stupid Creatures doctrine. Gimme old stuff, important stuff, to make your monster from. It comes down to the fact that I'm mot charging enough, and you're not paying me enough, to go on vast global searches for the materials of your dreams. I often go out and buy extra items (notions, decorative bits) for specific creatures when I think the piece might benefit from it, but that's not part of the package.

Oh, and on a related matter: Please allow for some flexibility with your design requests. If you're too rigid with what you want, chances are you're not gonna get it. Why? Usually because you don't know anything about sewing, and have sent inadequate materials.

I prefer this: Give my monster three arms

To this: Give my monster three (3) five-inch arms with pink paws that are 1 inch long and with three toes apiece. Space them one inch apart with the third one twisting slightly as if he's looking at his watch. Oh yeah, give him a watch. A digital one with embroidered numbers indicating that it's tea time...

Get it? The former allows me to fulfill your requests more creatively. The latter is so rigid and complex that what I make will very likely not match what you've got in your head. Give me a little breathing room, and your monster might just get extra details like toes if I see the piece needs 'em or will benefit from 'em.

So anyway, I'm gonna fold some laundry and head back to the studio. Love to all.

It's been a long time, everyone.

2007-08-02T10:07:00.000-07:00

Today I'm expecting family. We're headed to TN tomorrow for a huge gathering of relatives, some of whom I've never met. We've probably not got that much DNA in common, but it'll be nice to meet them. My grandparents are celebrating their 65th wedding anniversary and my dad is turning 60. It should be eventful. I'm still taking my computer with me 'cause I've got book deadlines.

So, speaking of, I'm working on a new book with two other artists, Ian Dennis whom you know from Stupid Creatures, and plush art veteran Jenny Harada from New Jersey. Lark has asked us to put together a stuffed toy book for preteens, and give the items somewhat of a functional edge. It's gonna be a smash. We've all made the toy samples for the book, and I'm finishing up my instructions today. Next on my agenda are diagrams for all the projects, and illustrated scenarios in which to place images of the toys popping in and out. It's a lot of work but I'm glad to have it under my belt.

And in the world of custom orders: My faithful customers, I wish I could just say I've been lazy, but that's far from the truth. I've been scrambling to eat and pay my bills. I ran out of stuffing last week and have not been able to afford more. I'm sending out some invoices to people who need to pay me, and I promise the waits for all outstanding orders will not be long. One of these days, my entrepreneurial side will flourish and I will quit running my business like a schizophrenic artist.

So that's all the news for now.

Except: to make it clear, I'm lifting my restrictions on selling the work you make from my book. Try to keep it original and do your best to mix it up and not follow the patterns to a tee. I believe in all of you out there and if you find inspiration in my book, I'm gratified, and I don't feel I've got the right to stop you from your endeavors. Blessings and best wishes. If anyone gives you grief about idea theft, lemme in on the conversation.

Take care, everyone!!

MedEx toy show and other updates

2006-12-06T04:01:00.000-08:00

Hi, everyone. I encourage all of you committed participants who are myspace members to subscribe to this blog. Here are some things you gotta know:

1. We need you to drop a line to medex@stupidcreatures.com so we can start a mailing list about the show for the definite participants. You can just send a line that says "yes I'm in" or something to that effect.. Feel free to divulge your deepest darkest if you so wish. We are, of course, doctors. Ha.

2. We want to update this profile and our links page to include a list of definite participants. Participants are encouraged to provide us with URLs to your website, online shop, flickr site, myspace or wherever you might best be found online so your listing can be linked up with your site.

2.5. On the subject of links, John's reworking that ancient, dusty page. If you want to be linked, email his flat caucasian arse and say "link me," or thereabouts. Include a basic category for your link: are you a gallery, a design firm, an individual artist (specify genre), a group.. you know.

3. The dates of the show have changed. You've now got a bit more time to sicken the world with your medical misfires. We're waiting on PUSH (the venue) to etch the dates in stone, but the show will open in the middle of March, and end the middle of April (that's tax time, everyone).

4. As the opening day is still a tiny bit nebulous, the entry form with all the terms has, of course, not been posted. This is a good thing. We'll post the entry form's availability as soon as it's ready.

That's it for now..
J and I

YES I WILL SHIP TO AUSTRALIA.

2006-08-22T05:57:00.000-07:00

A recent piece of press in an Australian newspaper, the Sunday Times (out of Perth, I think), implies that I do not ship to Australia. The truth is that I simply have not YET shipped to Australia, as no Australian has placed an order. The day one does, I will gladly ship to Australia without reservation.

I've had the opportunity to clarify to a couple of interested Australians, over email, the truth of this matter, and have encouraged them to spread the word. Anyone reading this is welcomed to do the same.

Many, many thanks!!

The thing about selling the creatures you've made from my book..

2006-07-20T21:04:00.000-07:00

Okay. My book's been out for about a year, and several people have written to ask me if they can sell the creatures they make from my techniques.

The answer, unfortunately, is no.

In the front of the book, on the page facing the dedication, is a copyright notice stating (paraphrase) that the techniques and instructions in the book are for personal use only, not for commercial use, without the author's written consent.

I won't be giving any consent any time soon, unless you're Ian Dennis, who works with me and has come up with his own techniques which I myself will not be copying.

Anyway, consider also that this copyright notice was the doings of Sterling Publishing for the protection of their and my intellectual property. Originality is your best defense against a possible cease and desist or worse from a huge international corporation.

If anyone needs any suggestions as to which techniques in my book to avoid in his or her own work, read the following:

Avoid making your stuff look like anything from the patterns for Genevieve, Claude, Syd, Jordan and Estelle. That means avoid mimicking their ears, arms, legs, heads, tails, bones through the head or bodies.

The concepts of multiple legs, multiple arms, tube shaped appendages of any kind, and bones through the head are all totally public domain and legal for anyone to produce. What will snag any artist is making their execution of legal techniques look too much like the work of someone else.

And while nobody can copyright the concept of big lips, do try to make your mouths look different from mine.

I'll do my best to help you stay creative and get your own thing going.

Thanks everyone!!

Please don't anybody worry..

2006-06-27T16:26:00.000-07:00

My website looks like it's gone. It isn't. I've just been without the use of my computer for a week now, and in that week, I suppose I was warned of the need to renew the stupidcreatures.com domain name. It all blinked out. No warning, or none that I had any power to heed, having had no machine for a week.

So, I've renewed my domain name. I don't know why my site has not yet been restored. I have no way of even checking my email right now. I'm waiting on the good word from my friend-become-web tech to advise me.

In the meantime, I don't know what to tell you guys. I'm sorry about this untimely viewing of the proverbial dirty underpants. I swear I haven't gone out of business. I'm just slightly stunted right now. Maybe the site will be all up and running tomorrow..

Perhaps in the meantime I'll try to tinker..

Ready Made Creatures Need Love Too!!

2006-04-07T10:33:00.000-07:00

When we aren't handling custom jobs, Ian and I quell our monster making urges by making stupid creatures whether people tell us to or not. We've got quite a few to choose from. Click their names to see them for yourselves!! Creatures with ** beside their names have child safe doll eyes instead of buttons, and are safe for babies, teething children or anyone with a propensity to gnaw.

When you think of eyes, think of **Bruce. As he has no nose whatsoever, he must visually ascertain the scent of something by analyzing its ambient discharge on a submolecular level. This is done by focusing all six of his eyes on to his subject matter. Too much of this narrow-band focus has been known to burn holes in things.

The quadrupedal **Dirk is a living testament of blunted idiocy. He is currently working towards his associate's degree in bubble blowing. We anticipate his early graduation in 2014, if he can stay on task and keep track of his sudsy water.

Next there's the four-legged, blobby-horned Glovinnidy Ester Montreve, a Sunday School teacher from Barbecue Alabama. She has 8 kids, all grown, and 3 grandbabies on the way. She enjoys making fudge and weaving straw hats.

**Monagroana is 8 and an early bloomer of a high school senior. She enjoys picking up ambient psionic detritus on her antennae and sorting it out into cohesive strands of gossip. She hopes to swim with the manatees one day.

Classic Fantastic Ned Wetty, a rare breed and a discontinued Stupid Creatures design, is perfectly witless and content to oil rusty wrenches at the factory where he works. We assume he's in his late 40s.

**Peppamink and **Paddy are brother and sister, though it's unclear as to which sibling is which.They grew up in the Czech Republic and Ireland, respectively, and use their stripes as camouflage when hiding in candy stores.

Ramses, the Self Aggrandizing Gas Bag, is the ruler of no known municipality, yet demands that monuments be erected in his honor. He lightly jets from place to place, buoyed by his own flatulence and sense of self importance. We think he's a nutter.

Anton Xavier Scrapeyshard learned to dance when he was just 5. Since then he has entertained crowds numbering in the high tens, upwards of perhaps twice. His wings are a graft from the remains of a sylph, and his black tulle tutu is probably French. The non-skid pads on his belly and arms make him an excellent hugger.

When we first met Steve he was waiting for a bus that never came. We found him charming with his penchant for memorable anecdotes. He swears he's only 30, but his sagely wisdom would convince you otherwise.

When **Swain materialized in our medicine cabinet last Thursday, we were, needless to say, quite surprised. But this mysterious pixie of a stupid creature has proven to be a reliable sounding board for our many prescription drug abuse problems. Make her your companion and you'll leave the pills behind for good.

**Yuri is an amphibious Swamp Swami from a distant corner of someplace vague. His age is incalculable, as is his near photosynthetic love for the sun. When he can't be bothered to help you sort out your religion, Yuri spends his time knitting with strands of astral energy. He's made a truckload of sweaters.

All of these ready made creatures can be purchased in the Gallery. We use PayPal, so anybody can partake. Thanks a ton!!

ASU Fiber Arts Students visit the Stupid Creatures Studio on March 24.

2006-04-04T12:21:00.000-07:00

This news is a wee tad overdue.

L to R, Emily Purser, Ian Dennis (seated) Blake Nowlin, Emily Dixon (holding Noot), Michael Mull (holding Ned Wetty), Prof. Jeana Klein, John Murphy. Photo by Anabelle Ecter.

On March 24, Fiber Arts Adjunct Prof. Jeana Klein from Appalachian State University brought her advanced students to Asheville for a museum and gallery tour. Among their stops was a visit to my studio. I was truly flabberhgasted to be asked to speak to the up and coming generation of new artists about art as a career and the basics of starting and running a business. We stuffed ourselves with homemade cookies and plenty of coffee. My brother, James, from Atlanta, was visiting that week. In addition to helping me organize quite a hefty backlog of ignored duties, he gave his own words of wisdom to the visiting students. He's an accountant, see, and had plenty of information to submit about the very real and important financial aspect of running any businesss. We all had a great time.

Prof. Klein emailed me later and said this:

"John--

Thanks SO much for sharing your time, knowledge...and cookies and
coffee with me and my students. (We're going to send you a real
solid-mail thank you note, in the near future, too.) I really
appreciate your honesty and candor, and think the students did, too.

Good luck in all your art-making endeavors.
Take care.
Jeana"

And they DID send me a big old envelope full of thank you notes written and sewn on handmade paper. They sent socks and buttons, all of which will find purpose in my collection of materials. It's all great stuff. Next time, maybe we'll all have a sewing fest and create a gigantic collaborative monster. Any other college profs reading this are welcome to bring their own students by any time.

A completely validating word from a fan.

2006-04-04T11:35:00.000-07:00

Mr. Murphy,

I have 5 cats...well now 4.

My oldest cat, Smokey was my guy. We were a team- he was my living stupid creature. Anyway, he became very ill with a cancerous type infection in his mouth and after months of trying to heal and deal with it I had to make the hardest decision ever.

Smokey was humanely euthanized and passed away peacefully on my lap 1 week ago today. He was 15.

=^..^=

It was equally as heartbreaking explaining to my children why Smokey had "to go"... ugh...guilt. So all week I had been in the dumps. My sister decided that she'd take me to Barnes and Noble to get my mind on other things.

I'm in love with PEZ dispensers and on my way to the collectibles books I catch a glimpse of this funny looking creature on the front cover of a book. I stopped dead in my tracks and grabbed it off the shelf.
and read the title aloud..."Stupid Sock Creatures:Making Quirky, Lovable Figures from Cast-Off Socks"

...and I laughed.

...and laughed, and freaked out the lady next to me looking at some gardener type book, and laughed some more.

I couldn't put your book down. And I realized for that moment in time I was ok. Furthermore, I began to feel inspired - something I hadn't felt in so long. Not only are your creatures fantabulous but the whole idea that as an artist you have the capability to evoke emotion and thought from your creations, your work.

It's the reason I love art...and for that Mr. Murphy I say "Thank You" not only are your Stupid Creatures uplifting and funny and can make any shitty week disappear, your work is a prime example of how artists spin the web of creativity... and the natural evolution of such desire can be enjoyed by others.

AWESOME!
THANK YOU!
[Name Withheld]

I sold a piece in Chicago.

2006-03-06T12:04:00.000-08:00

Gosh. I know it's a good thing to actually make a sale. It truly is. But I'm sad. I was actually hoping I'd see Wilmot again. Check this out. According to the Rotofugi website, he sold.

This is, of course, good. I've made a sale at a stinkin' awesome plush show at a really neat designer toy store in a great city, so I guess that means I'm "in there." Runnin' with the big dogs.

I should see if they want to sell my book there. But I liked Wilmot quite a bit. His counterpart, Arden Thackery, Jr., is also a fave of mine, but I had hoped the two of them would stay together. Perhaps whomever bought Wilmot will realize the half-done effort and go back to get Arden. At least then I'll know my fraternal twins are still together.

Ah.. I feel a bit better now. It's hitting me that my stuff sold at a primo location for indy toy design. Yay. Let's keep this up.

It took me 3 years to find the right assistant. Ian is Here and He Is Workin' it..

2006-02-26T12:22:00.000-08:00

My new stupid creatures coworker Ian is turning out to be the perfect addition to my staff of just me. He's still in training but design-wise he's ready to start processing orders on his own. We're going to be working today on stitching a monster together that he's cut and arranged. I'm expecting fantastic results again.

What this means for the Stupid Creatures business is that we'll be able to crank out orders faster and take on more. Our goals, though, are to keep the custom service around for those who continue to seek it, and make more ready-mades to buy right off the website (which I've had NO TIME WHATSOEVER to make recently) while we develop a line of mass marketed stuffed toys to sell wholesale in shops and online.

I'm so excited. Ian and I have similar backgrounds, both majoring in ceramics and using clay as a venue for our first monstrous creations. Yes, Ian makes monsters (and aliens and robots) out of clay just like I did in college and hope to continue doing soon (the ceramic itch never goes away once you've found a niche for it). He wants to see what the plush world is like and graciously accepted an offer to assist me in my current efforts which will lead to his, and my, escalation in the art of stuffed toys.

I'll be updating the contact page to include his photo and, if he so desires, a link to his myspace page (I'll go ahead and stick him in my top 8 so you readers can find him easily from my page). We'll also put together a gallery of the creatures he's done in training just so you all out there can start salivating along with me.

Updates will, of course, continue to be posted. Things are really busy in the studio and I've seen no typical post-holiday slump. I'm grateful for that but still amazingly swamped considering the creatures are only one part of my art life, one that I admit requires a lot more maintenance and care than I feel I've been able to give at the moment. Thanks again to all of my patient, dedicated customers. I'm grateful for the life you've given me for the past 3 years.

In Plush We Trust

2005-11-11T09:20:00.000-08:00

Hi, Everyone. I wanted to announce my participation in the plush art show, In Plush We Trust, that opens at the Rotofugi Gallery in Chicago on Nov. 18. Shawn Smith, another plush artist out there in the industry, has curated this event. I myself won't be able to make it to the opening but I encourage any of you Chicago readers to attend.

I was very pleased to be invited to participate. As you well know, my medium and my muse has been socks. This was a new opportunity (not my first) to work with actual fabric. I was really sweating not having Adobe Illustrator to make my patterns with. In fact, I was kind of panicked about it, but with the deadline for the show approaching, I just went for it sans pattern or plan and wound up creating Arden Thackery, Jr., and Wilmot H. Trexler. I think they're pretty rad.

The neat thing about this show is that every participant was sent the exact same materials to make his or her plush item(s) out of. We were allowed to use whatever eyes we wanted and one other item of our choosing like hair or colored fabric (notice the monochrome). I didn't wind up straying from the prescribed materials (save for the eyes) 'cause I think my boys are pretty complete as they are. I considered some faux fur pants or something, but why bother. I would have overdone it.

With any luck, this show will attract some attention and maybe some business or future gigs. I learned a lot about making better 3-D figures out of fabric, something that has been somewhat intimidating in the past. I look forward now to plowing through my many bags of scrap fabric that I swear I'll use one of these days. I've made other non-sock plush items, but I have to say that Arden and Wilmot are my best yet. I look forward to many more.

To Apple and Beyond

2005-10-11T12:46:00.000-07:00

Computer's off again to the Apple folks. This time to fix the screen that went completely black after sending the computer off for a month of hurricane-delayed repairs. Wish me luck everyone. And I'm turning 30 on Friday so everybody send me blank checks.

Rejoice I tell ya..

2005-10-01T10:38:00.000-07:00

My computer came home, albeit practically a different machine. The repair list was extensive. About six parts were replaced instead of just the two I knew I needed: the casing and the optical drive for reading DVDs. Unfortunately the hard drive was completely erased. I backed up most of the essential files on it, which was good, but things I didn't think to back up ('cause I was optimistic) were 2 years worth of digital photos, 20 gigs of music and a bunch of bootlegged software that, due to enhancements in security protocols, are nearly impossible to bootleg again. I can see my files, but without software like photoshop or adobe illustrator, a lot of them can't be accessed or worked on.

So, I reinstalled my operating system, which was a great setback in functionality, and I reset what preferences I could. I reloaded a bunch of my music, restored some software I actually owned. I set up my email and internet protocols anew and resolved to start from the ground up. I'm going to pursue my replacement software legitimately, provided I can get a small business loan (I'm taking a class on writing a business plan).

So, today the fog of frustration lifted and I feel incredibly fresh and happy and auspicious, even in light of my computer's screen having now just gone completely black after flickering madly for several seconds. Two restarts have failed to restore any image to the screen, but it's got this faint horizontal stripe towards the bottom so I can tell it's "on." Back to Apple the thing goes likely Monday. Once again the phone rep at the apple support line sounded apologetic. Now that hurricane season is over, he says I should have my computer within 5 days of my sending it off. I will pursue a LOCAL repair first before embarking on another potentially inexhaustible wait.

Pain is temporary, thank God. All things work together for the greater good. I look forward to what happens next. In the meantime, it's back to piggybacking off of other people's machines and sporadically tending to my business matters. Ugh. Bear with me some more, everyone. Thanks to my sister Julie who actually reads this blog.

There's no place like Apple. There's no place like Apple.

2005-09-22T13:10:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I seem to attract these kinds of unbelievable circumstances like a wet lightning rod. Apple tells me that my computer is at a repair facility in Houston TX. Houston's being evacuated because of hurricane Rita. What I thought was a replacement parts ETA of last Tuesday has been drastically downgraded to "wheneverthefxxk." I asked if since Houston is being evacuated, does that mean my and everyone else's machines that are there could be destroyed? The Apple rep told me that all the machines are or have been stored in a safe facility where they'll be accessible later. Words meant to comfort, I'm sure. How much later I can expect my computer is anyone's guess and only for God to know. I've given it up. It's out of my hands. But I'll look online for maps of Rita's predicted path and hope for the best. EVERYONE PRAY. Not just for my computer but for the safety and quick recovery of everyone in the path of this new storm. And for the rest of the nation in its possible aftermath. Infamous Katrina was a category 4 hurricane. Rita's a 5.

An Apple rep just rang me!!

2005-09-20T17:47:00.000-07:00

A nice lady from Apple called to tell me that in response to the escalation assigned to my repair job, the new ETA for the needed parts was supposedly "today." Of course, the proof will be in the pudding. If the parts arrived today, we may see a repair tonight or tomorrow, with a shipping-out of my computer sometime this week. Cross your fingers everyone.. I might finally be seeing Jordan's other bank.

Apple said they're gonna...

2005-09-19T16:19:00.000-07:00

... do a Global Search for my parts. At this point, had I known that after three effing torturous weeks I'd still be waiting for my repairs, I wouldn't have dug this bottomless pit in the first place. The computer functions, it's just got a bit of loose casing and won't read DVDs. So far there's been the original order for the replacement parts my computer needs and an "allocation" for the parts, which means they've placed a new order with a new supplier (with exactly the same non-results as the first order). Now Apple's doing a global search. They're going to search every Apple store and the like for the parts I need. I was told I could expect a call tomorrow or the next day telling me any sort of news about the order. In the mean time, I could be doing design jobs and illustrations. I could be advancing my website, working on marketing, developing my plush patterns. I could be developing pages from the graphic novel series I'm drawing (the storyboards and script notes are all on my hard drive).. but I'm dead in the effing stagnant water. To everyone out there with an apple: if you need repairs, have them done locally. Don't send your computer off right now. Who the hell knows when you'll ever see it again.

More delays from Apple

2005-09-16T11:36:00.000-07:00

All the phone answering people are truly nice. Today the one I spoke with had sort of an apologetic tone. After 10 business days elapsed, Apple put out an "allocation" on the parts my computer needs. This means they've sought other suppliers for the parts since the original order STILL has not arrived. Even with a brand new supplier, Apple still says there's no ETA on the parts. This is incredibly frustrating. The phone rep told me that hurricane Katrina had something to do with the delays. I guess all their manufacturing facilities are on the Gulf Coast. I had no idea. What bothers me is that the Apple reps claim to receive new parts every day, even on the weekends. Yet mine are never among them. I wonder if my parts arrived and got stashed somewhere by mistake or lost. I just want my machine back. I need it to run my business. Piggybacking on other people's computers is not doing it for me. I have clients to serve and things to do.