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New Year, New Things

murphymonstermaker@gmail.com — 2012-01-15T06:49:41-05:00

Hi Everybody..

Lately I’ve been catching up on some ghastly overdue paperwork, ignored now for 6-ish years. I’m finding forms and papers and documents from what seems like another life. Becoming a camp counselor was the meridian which divided the course of my life from *artist-who-listens* to *professional-listener-who-is-alarmingly-artistic*. I have grown up so much since becoming a counselor, and now I realize how disastrously un-ready I was to run an art business. This paperwork through which I now wade is the result of running a business without a bean’s worth of expertise.

Needless to say, things that mattered to me before becoming a counselor, such as fame, attention, approval and indulgence, matter to me less now. New things now matter to me, such as whether the physical, emotional, nutritional and educational needs of at-risk kids are being met, and by whom, and under what circumstances. I get up at 5 a.m. I go for a run. I get to work and set out breakfast for the kids. My coworkers arrive. We chat about the coming day and try to find where we put the stash of new spoons. The kids trickle in and we metal detect ‘em at the door. We have breakfast with them and go to class. We do fun stuff, boring stuff, exercise stuff, play stuff, creative stuff and we address problems as they occur. The kids go home. My coworkers and I debrief on what worked and what didn’t, then we do our paperwork. I go home. I have a couple of hours left to do some creature making or housework before preparing for the following day. Then I sleep and repeat the process.

My life is focused, driven and full. When the kids are doing what they’re supposed to be doing, I manage to jot down a few doodles of new toy designs and old comic characters. When I manage to find some good art time, I take it slow and steady, focusing largely on the planning and preparation for production rather than just hacking into fabric and seeing what transpires. My spontaneity has mutated into decisive, intentional planning. I will make fewer pieces of art this year, but they stand to be remarkably better than anything I have ever done. And Stupid Creatures™ as they have been known will change forever.

I’ve just finished writing book #3, and I will be editing the first run of black/white laser prints in February. It’s a new sock creature book, and it focuses on not just the projects, but the way an idea can transform, expand and evolve when shared with hundreds of thousands of people. 15 of those people became guest designers in this new book, which is why there will be 20 projects for you to enjoy and further evolve. I’m excited to show it to everyone when it’s legal for me to do so. Next on my creature roster is a set of robot-like characters made from old trousers, and a new way (for me) of making a 3-toed foot.

Take care, everyone, and more soon!!

John

My thoughts on poverty right now

murphymonstermaker@gmail.com — 2012-01-03T23:00:31-05:00

Dear All Of You. It’s been a while. Here’s what’s on my mind.

My opinions on many things change constantly now that I’m a full time counselor, especially about poverty, our country, socioeconomics.. stuff like that. Working with kids and their families in their homes and in day treatment has given me incredible insight into why some kids act they way they do. It has also given me insight into things like poverty and classism, and how much those things can affects a person’s mental health.

I used to generally believe that people need to do more to help poor people (but that right there is an abstract concept with no clear application). And presto, I work in an industry funded by taxpayer dollars (which does not take private insurance as payment, and therefore services only those eligible for tax-funded programs like Medicaid), attempting to help people improve their own lives and raise their kids with a better sense of personal responsibility and work ethic and blah blah blah.. I and my coworkers are a living and breathing example of how America does indeed help the poor. My experience has given me informed opinions about what Stephen Colbert waxed on about. Strangely, or not, this industry is full of employees who are Christians (take that for what it is). Stephen Colbert still had some good points about following Christ’s example and helping the poor. We are commanded to do that, just like Jesus said. Trust me, if you have a job and pay taxes, you’re helping the poor already. Of course, it’s probably more the Christian thing to do to help the poor of your own volition rather than wait for the government to garnish your paycheck (or to take a paycheck for it like my coworkers and me). And it’s important to consider that throwing tax dollars at the phenomenon of “poverty” hasn’t changed the fact that people are still poor. So, what’s not working (a bit of reality therapy here)?

I want to help people not with just financial assistance, but with new ideas about what they themselves can do to change their own course. I’m a fan of the “teach a man to fish” end of things. But many of the people I serve as a counselor don’t want to learn “how to fish,” ‘cause once they do, their providers will say, “Look. You can fish!! You don’t need me to give these to you anymore!!” Trouble is, in this economy, those proverbial “fish” (jobs with living wages) are scarce. And try as they might, it's harder in general for my clients to break into the workforce 'cause of racism, classism, cultural differences or any number of fickle prerequisites.

Still, it is remarkable to me the abuses I’ve seen done by people in my client base to their systems of government aid. I’ve seen so many falsifications on Medicaid applications, nondisclosures of income, reports of “medical” conditions that anyone can fake or even invent that it makes me wonder why we have these assistances in place at all. Shoot, my brother is a tax auditor and he sees rich people and corporations make the same falsifications on their own disclosures at tax time. When I see a family living hand to mouth on government money drop a couple thousand dollars on a giant television that takes up half a wall, I’m like.. Wait a sec.. Aren’t you guys hungry? Weren’t you just asking me to help you get shoe and clothing donations for your kids? WTF is up with that TV?!

People everywhere, no matter how rich or poor, have a proclivity to lie, cheat and steal ‘cause it’s easier than working and telling the truth. The clients I work with know exactly what to tell me so I’ll write a good report and say that the treatment is working but they still need it for a while longer. If I can focus on the kids, not just their parents, maybe I can get some new ideas into their heads and they’ll make different decisions than their parents made and start ending various cycles. Stephen Colbert was likely right. The only way to stop poverty and end this massive contributing factor to what our culture perceives are mental health issues is to follow Christ’s example, not just in the giving, but in the way we receive as well. There is only one Bible, and nowhere in it does it tell people to lie around and take while everyone else works.

It’s easy for me to tell a client “work hard and your life will improve,” but in many cases, while generally true, it takes so much more than words, a smile and a clipboard to help a family affect some positive changes. It takes lots of time, lots of learning, building relationships, patience and a thorough understanding of what it means to grow up poor. Poverty isn’t the only contributing factor to mental health issues. And for Pete’s sake, sometimes we’re not necessarily dealing with people who are insane. If my training is correct, and if behaviors stem from legitimate needs, than my 14-year-old client who was arrested for stealing personal hygiene items wasn’t crazy or insane. He was just trying to meet his needs ‘cause his parents don’t wake till 3 in the afternoon or do jack squat to provide for him. I want to see what alternatives to a lifestyle exist before I tell a person or an entire family to *POOF!* CHANGE! My insight into the mental health and juvenile justice systems is deeper these days, giving me a much more informed opinion about my experience as a camp counselor and the numerous reasons why the kids I looked after were there.

More soon, everyone. Thanks and love..

John

Directions?

murphymonstermaker@gmail.com — 2011-05-23T14:48:52-04:00

My phone has an incredible navigation app that speaks road directions to me while I drive. It lets me speak my destination to it as well so I don’t have to type while I drive. It comes in a lot more handy than I expected. I’d used a map application on my old phone that gave pretty good directions, but it was up to me to pay attention to road signs and distances. I never look at my odometer to gauge whether I’ve gone a quarter mile or what have you, so I missed the odd turn here and there. I don’t know if any of you have this problem but in NC, many roads are missing visible signage, especially in deeply rural places. The new talking navigation app makes missing signs much less of a problem.

Needless to say, out here in the country side, I use that nav app pretty well all the time. The environs are a lot more rural than I’ve known for any great length. Right now I’m enjoying the scenery and the wide open spaces. I’m not enjoying how far I have to drive to see my new clients, though. My fuel bill has been suicidal. Each of my clients is at least a half hour drive from wherever I am. But that’s really the only drawback. It’s a significant one, though, considering the price of fuel against the meager stipend my employers pay us. I’ll need them to raise the stipend. Chances are we don’t have the budget, but I’ll ask anyway.

Gotta say, gas prices aside, I really love this line of work. I’ve asked some of the psychologists at my office what degree track is necessary to continue in this field and advance in the ranks. I’m interested in studying teenaged psychology, prescribing courses of treatment and diagnosing mental conditions. I’d also like to clear up whether a kid truly needs a diagnosis (and therefore a pill) or just better nutrition and a safe place to grow up. To that end I’ve paid close attention to my own health and nutrition, and focusing not just on the kids in my caseload but their parents and home circumstances. Economic circumstances dictate the quality of food a kid gets, and a junky diet contributes to a junky psychology. And like begets like. There’s more to it than that, but enough that I want to investigate the benefits of a raw foods diet. I see the parents of my clients giving them potato chips and syrupy candies from the ice cream truck. I can’t judge. They have to feed their kids what they can afford. Even if these parents were educated about the benefits of a better diet, they’d never be able to afford it without a massive lifestyle overhaul, nor would they likely stick to it after knowing and loving junk foods for such a long time.

Basically, what I do now is help parents and kids compensate for wrongs they didn’t choose, but which strongly influence the course of their lives. It’s tough ‘cause I’m well spoken and have an education. I drive a car that at least looks nice. I’m from a different world than most of my clients. Many of them listen to me ‘cause they’re so used to social worker types meddling in their lives (they’ve had ‘em since they can remember). I’ve never felt unsafe in any neighborhood. Maybe a tad freaked out approaching a client’s house, but never have I felt danger. If anything I feel like I’m in the way, as though it shouldn’t take an educated stranger from a different upbringing to fix someone else’s very personal problems. But I love it anyway. We’ll see where it goes.

As for the Stupid Creatures™, my 2 year sabbatical may actually take the 2 years I originally committed to camp. The new book I’m writing is due in October and though a lot has been accomplished, I feel as though I’ve barely begun. I won’t be getting much into art for art’s sake till that book is done and in the can. I do look forward to making my creatures again, but I’ve changed a lot since camp. I just don’t know what kind of work I want to make now. At least with the recession in full swing, I don’t have to worry about making my stuff affordable anymore since nobody’s buying art anyway. I’d like to get really dynamic and intricate with my new creatures, and price ‘em to attract the drippingly wealthy. They’re rolling around naked in tax cuts anyway so I may as well get some of their money. Ha!! Wouldn’t it be fitting if I drew my income from both ends of the tax-break spectrum?! Social work and art for the rich. How neat.

Nah..

At any rate, It’s time to grab some lunch before seeing a client.

More soon!!

Now that camp is over...

murphymonstermaker@gmail.com — 2011-02-23T09:11:11-05:00

Pictured here is a creature named Hlab. He’s one of my earliest and favorite creatures. The setting is the rooftop of my old Oakland apartment where the Stupid Creatures made their debut. Less than a decade has passed since this photo was shot, but it’s certainly been a lifetime. So much has happened, changed and been tried since I first took my scissors to a sock, and here I am at the start of a new chapter. My new location is old and familiar. My new opportunities have an element of routine. The only thing that’s changed is my new desire to keep helping kids. Where will that take me? What will that do for the creatures? Here’s where we find out.

So, I’ve finished with Eckerd Youth Alternatives and now I’m in a state of transition as I get back in the saddle with toy design. The past few days have been spent unpacking at my family’s house, straightening, tidying (kind of the same thing) and deciding my next permanent move. I have an open invitation to live with friends in the next town over. I’m not sure I want to do that, even though they live in a great town.

Right now what I need is a modest income to pave the way as I design my plush prototypes and write my new book. So I’m looking into a few part time jobs. One job in particular could be really good, but it would involve making yet another move and would eliminate the benefits of living with or near family.

So, I’ll ruminate and plan some more soon. I’m off to Raleigh to pick up my sister and drop her off at the airport. Then I’ll make supply runs for sewing things and maybe take some coffee time for filling out job applications, etcetera. I’ll have a look at the old Craigslist as soon as I get home.

Take care everybody!!

Nasty Sheboygan Mushrooms

murphymonstermaker@gmail.com — 2010-09-19T19:58:22-04:00

Okay, eww. I’m known for having a pretty diverse palate. I don’t eat things just because they taste good. I eat things to experience unique cultures. Well, sometimes I eat things out of sheer stress (chocolate) and if I have a few extra minutes before I have to walk out the door. But when I’m in a new place like Sheboygan, which has a particular food culture, I want to dine and drink the traditional way.

So I was invited to the Staff Merriment night, held every few months by the folks at the arts center. We went to a very traditional Sheboygan German restaurant called Al and Al’s where the fish is said to be top notch (it is). The restaurant and bar is a family-friendly, blue collar place where folks go to enjoy rib-sticking food, a waltz, a polka, live accordion music and an Old Fashioned.

An Old Fashioned is a Sheboygan favorite beverage made from either whiskey or brandy, served sweet or bitter, with your choice of garnish (often called garbage). Garnishes include maraschino cherries, pickled onions, brussels sprouts, pickled mushrooms and who knows what else (probably fish heads and sponge clippings). I’ve had olives in martinis before, so I figured I’d try the mushroom option just to live a little. I found it nasty.

I have a very short list of foods I find disgusting. Gazpacho is high on that list, along with every other chilled soup I’ve ever tried. And now that I’m trying to write that list I’m on the spot and can’t think of the other things. But Sheboygan pickled mushrooms now preside. In fact, in the future, if I ever have to eat another Sheboygan pickled mushroom I hope to have an icy vat of gazpacho nearby for cleansing my palate and perhaps even brushing my teeth. Maybe I’ll have a teaspoon of drain-o as well.

For your viewing pleasure, the experience was photographed.

Here’s me sizing up the task before me.

Here’s me taking a breath before eating the slimy, preserved mushrooms.

And there they go...

Chewing, and doing what I can to smile. They taste monstrous.

And here I am contemplating taking legal action against everyone who encouraged me to try the unlikely delicacy.

What was I supposed to do? Wash the wretched aftertaste down with the very beverage in which the mushrooms once floated? Like laboratory samples? They effing gave me heart burn. I was burping and coughing later that evening and part of the following day. We hosted an open studio for the general public to come make tummy pillows and I was a gassy dragon of mushroomness the whole time. Ugh. The antacid tablets I swallowed scaled my esophagus to escape the flames of mushroom stench that were offgassing in my stomach. You can only imagine the horror upon the faces of my workshop participants. They stayed and made sock monsters out of sheer guilt.

But I’m a good sport, as you can see in this photo of me with Erica, one of my hosts. I forgave all of the Art Center employees and forewent my plans to voodoo doll the lot of them.

For now.

Creature comforts.. gosh.. what day is it?

murphymonstermaker@gmail.com — 2010-09-11T13:48:45-04:00

Can this be only the second blog entry I’ve written since I arrived in Sheboygan? Lemme see. Tommorrow’s my last day at the arts center, then I fly back to NC on Sunday. I’ll have a bit of down time with my family and then I head back to camp on Wednesday. I’ve written my campers two rounds of postcards. I hope it wasn’t overkill. One of them asked if I’d bring everyone something from Sheboygan but I likely will only bring myself. I can’t go lugging souvenirs in my backpack all the way back to camp. They’d get broken or stolen the moment I handed ‘em out.

So what’s on my mind today as the residency comes to a close? Nothing really. My brain is kind of mud.

Here’s what’s been going on. The John Michael Kohler Arts Center has a Connecting Communities program which exposes community members to many different art forms by inviting established artists to lead workshops in or related to their areas of expertise. Yvonne Montoya heads up this department. She plans years in advance for projects that will serve various charities or purposes in the Sheboygan area. In my case, since the center brought me on board before to make sock monsters, they asked if I’d come back for the Creature Comforts project. Yvonne asked me if I’d develop a stuffed toy pattern using socks to make tummy pillows. Patients of abdominal surgeries use tummy pillows to press against their incised areas when they need to stand up, sit up, sneeze, laugh, cough or wear a seat belt. Otherwise there’d be heaps of pain and maybe a ruptured suture. I’m guessing.

Each creature is different, in typical Stupid Creatures style, but the directions people followed were pretty much the same. I typically don’t follow patterns, and I only teach from patterns if people need some direction and suggestion. In the case of Creature Comforts, the primary reason I insisted people follow the pattern I made was to ensure that the resulting creatures were flat and pillow-ish. We tried to avoid tummy pillow creatures with a row of plush spines down its back, for example. They had to stay flat and basically featureless so that no patient with an abdominal incision would press a lumpy area painfully up against the tender spot. You know?

Anyway, here’s what the tummy pillow creatures look like.

Over the course of two weeks we’ve held workshops with the general community, STARS (a program for at-risk teenagers), Friendship House (a group home for more at risk teenagers), the Hmong Association, TLC (Together We Live with Cancer), a senior activity center, Safe Harbor (for victims of domestic abuse), and group of adults with special needs. Each of these workshops produced heaps of sock creature tummy pillows which the arts center will donate to local hospitals and clinics for their patients in recovery. Tomorrow Yvonne and I will staff a booth at a Hispanic convention, not just to represent Creature Comforts but to put the Arts Center out into Sheboygan’s Latino population. We’ll be at our booth stitching creatures and talking about the arts center. It should be cool. Maybe people will want to make a creature, but we don’t expect anyone’s gonna sit with us long enough to do that.

It’s been a great experience working with the arts center again. I really, really miss a studio artist’s life. But the workshops we hosted kind of confirmed my commitment to the kids I work with at camp. There are so many populations in need of help and support in every community. Right now it appears that service is my station rather than the typical self-service that comes with being an artist. The recognition, attention, fan letters, et cetera, are all great, but my skills can be used to help rather than to self glorify, and that’s what I’m doing now. I’m a camp counselor. Granted, there’s appeal to going home every day and blobbing on the sofa (I’ve enjoyed that tremendously throughout the residency!) once the day of work is done. Instead, I will live 24 hours a day with my campers until further notice. Anyway, lunch is over. I’ve got loads of photos to post and such.. I’ll get around to that soon.

Creature Comforts Day 2

murphymonstermaker@gmail.com — 2010-09-07T16:49:50-04:00

So, don’t bother looking for a Day 1 entry. Here it is in a nutshell. I left camp, went to the air port, met my dad, he picked up my car, I flew to Milwaukee, I took a shuttle to Sheboygan, met my host, Yvonne, here at the John Michael Kohler Arts Center, picked up my rental car with her, went to my guest house, bought groceries, did laundry, watched some TV, tried to eat junk food (but couldn’t stand it), and went to bed.

Today I woke up and discovered my month old Palm Pre was effed up. I can’t hear any phone conversations, music or video, nor can anyone on the phone hear me. The alert sounds work just fine. When I visited a Verizon store here in Sheboygan, the clerk beeped and booped around with my phone long enough to confirm that it was effed. Other things started going wrong with it. The touch screen feature became slow and unresponsive. The screen zoomed randomly and refused to scroll. When I backswiped in the music application, the phone started dialing my dad. It was ridiculous.

Long story short, I went to a corporate Verizon office and they are sending me a new phone. Trouble is, they are unable to dump the contacts from my current phone to the new one. I think that’s a tad ridiculous, personally . I might have to wait till I’m done with this residency to do that. I’ll go back to the store where the phone was purchased and get it taken care of.

So I’m in Sheboygan, Wisconsin, a town I like a whole lot. The weather is much cooler here than in NC, and I’m excited to experience it. I visited with Yvonne, the coordinator of my residency here at the arts center, and I’m working on quite a few things right now. Here’s what we’re doing: We’re creating a sock monster kit to sell, and we’re teaching classes both here and around town on making sock monsters. We’re using one specific pattern, intending for the participants to donate the creatures they make as holiday gifts for sick and needy people. I think a photographer will document the whole thing. Not sure but I think that’s what I’ve heard. Wigwam socks has donated a thousand of its factory reject socks, so the art center’s marketing department will have to work in connections to the Stupid Creatures, Wigwam and the center itself.

Right now I’m in the empty, closed café at the center where I have an internet signal and relatively few disturbances. Someone will have to tell the security guy who keeps passing me that I’m here for work, not the free internet. Yvonne is upstairs with the center’s director working out my contract and putting finishing touches on my itinerary for this week and next.

I miss my camp kids and have already bought two postcards for them apiece. It’s expensive to stay in touch, but I want them to be sure I’m thinking about them while I’m away. Each one of my campers is incredible and I’m really lucky to be working with them, no matter how unruly or rude they become. When you love kids you just love ‘em. It’s sickening, but sometimes those kids need to be adored no matter how horrid they get. I got a huge group hug from ‘em one day. It was cool. I’d been pulled by our MC to cover another group while their chief was in meetings (my co-chief was also on, so I could be spared). When I returned like 4 hours later, each of my 9 guys ran at me and piled on top of me shouting CHIEF JOHN! It really, really hurt, now that I think back. I was kind of bruised up (like half a ton of teenager?). But it was awesome. Things like that make me want to work at camp forever. I really am lucky to have such a great group of guys. But now that I’m on vacation, I will try not to feel too guilty, I mean, I’m here to work after all.

Truly, I do enjoy sleeping indoors and relaxing for a bit. In fact, in many ways I feel downright indulgent (I tried to eat some potato chips. Tomato basil flavored. They nearly sickened me. Anybody want what’s left?). I’m thinking about my co-chief stuck in the woods by himself with my 9 guys. They’re an intense bunch. I will text my co-chief most days just to check in. I gave one of my guys the address of where I’m staying in case the campers wanted to write. Long shot, I know, but I wanted to be thorough. A departing parent would do no less whether it was for a business trip or out to dinner with Mom.

I bought some sewing supplies since I’ll have down time to do a little art on my own. I’ve got some ideas for altering a few shirts and I look forward to tinkering with that. Mostly I look forward to catching up on some sleep. I don’t have to wake at every noise to make sure my kids aren’t sneaking around or running off. I’ll do my best to stay in bed and stay asleep while I’m here.

So tomorrow I meet with the center’s marketing group at 10 sharp, so I gotta run and finish the instructions for our kit. More soon as it develops!

Bites and Burns

murphymonstermaker@gmail.com — 2010-08-16T12:58:12-04:00

So, I’m like candy to poisonous spiders. I’m not trying to “workers’ comp” my employers to death, in fact I sleep under my insect net every night! I flip my mattress every day and shake my sheets (we call it flip ’n strip, even though the strip part comes first). I don’t know how I’m increasing the likelihood of being bitten, but I apparently am. This time, my right shin is glowing red with infection. It looks like a fried egg with red albumen and an oozing white-purple yolk. I’ve been told not to squeeze it but last night I couldn’t resist. A semisolid banana pudding-looking ooze burst from my skin when I put pressure on the wound. What was strange was the hole it left when I was done. It was like a pin prick of a tunnel into my leg. Kind of creepy, actually. I poured several caps full of hydrogen peroxide over the wound and watched it bubble and froth. It didn’t hurt.

A couple of days prior, I had been to a nearby hospital to have an indifferent physician in a foot brace palpate the wound with uncaring and painful speed, declare it a mere boil and prescribe me antibiotics. It was a strange, strange day. I had taken one of my campers (we’ll call him Tag ‘cause he likes to write his name on things) to the hospital to follow up some burns he’d sustained after blacking out and falling face first into the pow wow fire last Tuesday. Scariest day of my life as a chief. Tag has had one other blackout experience and now I’d like him to get checked out for this apparent tendency. Sakes. We were just about to end our nightly pow wow. We were all seated around the fire discussing what went well that day, what needed work, and various other things including my countless prompts for campers to quit involving themselves with the fire (hands off! Liability!) and to respect the speaker by holding one’s own “tones” (talking). Tag rose, stretched, looked to his left at a fellow camper (we’ll call him Pushup ‘cause he does those when he’s angry), smiled and fell forward like a domino right into the fire. Pushup and I think Bossy (another code name) grabbed Tag out of the fire and stood him aright. He was covered in ashes, and we didn’t really see the nature or severity of his burns till we got him to our cistern.

At the time, a visiting chief was staying with us and was able to recall his first aid training (I could not. I was too busy freaking out and thinking about proper channels, paperwork, and radioing in the incident to the management). We didn’t rinse Tag immediately, as apparently one shouldn’t with 3rd degree burns. We did our best to get him calm. He was in quite a lot of pain but only gave a few urgent complaints. He didn’t cry or scream. Luckily, the ashes on his face were just ashes. He didn’t burn his lips off or anything. HIs forearms and chest took the brunt.

Within minutes our MC was at our campsite in their “gator” (golf-cart looking thing by John Deere) to whisk Tag away to the emergency room. When we saw him next, the following morning, Tag was smiling and mummified from palms to elbows in gauze. We have to change his bandages at least twice a day, and the guys help wrap him up and bird bath him at the shower house. The first day Tag was back from the hospital, Pushup washed his hair for him in the showerhouse sink. I scrubbed his back and upper arms. I was really proud of my guys for rallying around Tag’s needs. Bossy has taken the lead lately getting Tag re-bandaged and I usually help tuck in his shirttail and get his belt back on (no homo). The most annoying part of Tag’s recovery at camp is how long it takes to get him his pain pill. We’re still short staffed, and prescription meds are handed out by either the nurse herself or the MC’s. I don’t enjoy seeing my guys hurting.

So, all this time my spider bite was getting bigger and more nasty looking. Owing to my previous bite, I knew what to expect, so I just told my bosses early that I needed to see a doctor. When it was time to take Tag for his follow up trip to the emergency room, I was instructed to get my leg checked out then as well. The doctor made his rushed, indifferent pass over my leg, and I joined an undbandaged, frustrated Tag in his room a few doors down. The nurse had given him a pain pill and wanted to wait for it to kick in before scrubbing Tag’s wounds at the sink. All the blackened skin had to be removed from the raw, pink and white wounds. Tag was annoyed. He felt abandoned by the nurse. The same doctor that jabbed at my leg had hastily and painfully removed Tag’s bandages, then came the pill, and then a whole bunch of waiting and nothing.

My Red Cross First Aid certification says I don’t need to wait for some hamfisted nurse to come wrap up my kid. I started looking for the necessary bandages and get him out of that medieval establishment. It was unconscionable to witness my adored camper in pain with exposed, untended burns. I was so furious I couldn’t see straight. When I’m angry, I tear up, so I was trying my best to hold it together. I noticed Tag had begun to well up also. It’s against camp rules for me to let him make an unscheduled phone call, but I let him ring his mom anyway on the camp phone they always give us when we go off property (I got a little bit in trouble for it later ‘cause his mom made an unscheduled visit to camp and that just didn’t jive with our paperwork and all that, but please, her son just fell into a campfire! I’d want to see my kid too if it were me!). I couldn’t find the right things to re-bandage him (in a hospital, for Christ’s sake), so I fussed a bit at a lady in scrubs who claimed only to be running the front desk and was therefore absolved. I told her my guy was in pain, covered in burns and nobody’s doing anything. Eventually the nurse came and was able to get Tag scrubbed (gently) and re-wrapped. We headed out to get our prescriptions filled, picked up some McFlurries, complained openly about the hospital, and headed back to camp.

So I’m off now for the next couple of days. I’m having my spider bitten leg looked at by the doctor who saw my first bite. I’m glad I have antibiotics, but the wound grows larger and stranger over the course of the day. Who knows if I’ll need this one hacked open and emptied. I’ll do my best to rest up as well this time off. I want to sleep, watch a movie, sew a monster etc. But I’ve got loads of paperwork to do for camp since an audit is happening soon. Even when I’m off, I’m on.

Take care everyone!!

Camp is unusual

murphymonstermaker@gmail.com — 2010-08-10T17:06:29-04:00

My newest T-shirt is available. I drew this double-irised ball player a long time ago when I still lived in Asheville. Since moving to camp, my sketchbooks are packed away somewhere in my dad’s basement. I’ll find ‘em one day and scan all kinds of great images for all of you to wear.

So camp is going kind of crazy. Kids are strange. I keep forgetting that I work with a certain stripe of kids; those with behavioral disorders. They don’t represent every teenager out there. Lately, for weeks, kids have been fleeing their campsites for other campsites at night while we chiefs are asleep. We’ve had to stay up all night, or wake very frequently just to make sure our kids are still accounted for. It’s very problematic when kids run off. At night, there is no light, they don’t have proper boots (we collect boots at night to prevent running away. A lot of good it does), they can’t really see where they’re going, so the risk of injury and getting lost increase alarmingly.

Several campers in my group have been running off. One camper in particular, however, has decided he’s not going to “follow into the negativity,” and has been working hard to do well at camp. He’s been a badly needed infusion of positivity in my group, my life, my job. I really appreciate him. The other day, while my group was wallowing in low morale, low motivation and tons of loafing around, this kid sat on our meeting logs with me and wrote a poem to his mom. He asked my help creating the verses. I tried my best not to write the poem for him but help him come up with phrases that matched the rhyme scheme and meter he’d established, and conveyed the sentiments he wished to express.

It was a great moment. The poem was choppy and awkward, riddled with spelling errors, but very sweet and sincere. He asked if I’d draw a heart below the poem. I did. He asked if I’d add a banner. I did. He asked if I’d draw wings on the heart. I did. He asked for an arrow through the heart. I obliged. Then he wrote on the banner “Love that will Never Break.” I almost cried (understand, I was also very sleep deprived at the time. I’m no Sally Struthers). I was like “wow.” These kids are humans after all. Forgive the image. I doodled it on a café napkin just now and took a phone pic. The original was much nicer.

I mean, I never doubted the humanity of my campers. Their antics confirm it, actually. But it’s rare that I see the loving side of my campers’ humanity. They’re so busy playing hard and acting macho that such sensitivity rarely surfaces. Campers miss their families terribly. This kid in particular writes his mom nearly every day. She is his incentive to complete his camp program successfully and return home. When campers exhibit “maladaptive” behaviors, it sets them back. When they work hard to overcome their impulses and stay consistent with helpful behaviors, their camp stays shorten. They go back home either on time or early.

With so many of my guys acting crazy and going ape, you can bet I’ll dump as much of my attention and support into kids like this one who stays in bounds, supports his chiefs and his group, is funny, kind and considerate. He’s got a way with words, this one. Nearly everything out of his mouth is quotable. I’ve suggested he be a radio talk show host or an actor. When kids come from rough backgrounds where the only industry they can conceive of is drug sales and gang crimes, few of them realize what natural potential they possess for great and interesting occupations. I try to help them realize all their natural talents and skills and brainstorm which industries best suit them.

As this camper got down for the night, I helped him address his envelope to his mom. I tucked in the bug nets for his tent partners, made sure water bottles were filled, collected boots. I noticed he was still sitting up and scratching away at a notebook page. As I approached to encourage him to get to sleep, he tore the page out and handed it to me. He asked “do you like my robot? I drew it for you.” I was taken aback. I loved it. I want to put it on a T shirt for him. I have to think of a creative way around having to do the same for all my other campers who’ll cry “unfair” at such a gesture. Oh well.

Lately I’ve been thinking of quitting camp ‘cause of all the chaos and the lack of sleep I have as a result. I can’t leave my guys though. Some of them are working hard and have come to depend on me. They tell me their secrets and ask my advice. I can’t just up and quit and make them have to learn to trust a stranger or whomever might replace me. It’s tough. Whenever I return to camp, there’s a sharp block of anxiety in my gut. I know I’ll have another five days of getting cursed to my face, kids breaking rules they’ve known for months, serving the often very divergent needs of so many kids at once, and, of course, sleeping 3 to 4 hours a night. The work is the hardest I’ve ever done in my life. I want to get back to art. I spent time in a comic book shop today chatting with the clerk about X-Men and various illustrators for about an hour. I miss my old life. But I’ve got this one now. I’ve been at it for 6 months. I can’t quit yet.

My Stuffed Article!

murphymonstermaker@gmail.com — 2010-07-09T13:11:25-04:00

So. Now that I’m stuck at camp, I’ve got books and press coming out this year. How convenient!! Stampington Press has given me quite a lot of coverage in their most recent issue of Stuffed Magazine. I wanted the article to be a plug for the new book Closet Monsters, which I just wrote, but alas, it was all about me. Had I known, I’d have sent a more diverse collection of works for them to ogle and photograph.

Stuffed Magazine is an up and coming flagship magazine for the indy plush industry. It’s still kind of a small industry, half pop art crime wave, half Sunday afternoon crafting bee. The indy plush movement gains and loses steam frequently, thus do magazines trying to cover it. Stuffed comes out twice a year, and the issues aren’t cheap (just like the artworks it features!), but it’s worth it (just like the.. anyway). Without further adiddlydoo, here are some images to whet all the short attention spanned palates out there:

Here’s an image from the first page of my article. What’s strange is I don’t remember sending them this monster. I thought I sold it at my studio. Oh well. The last few days and hours leaving Asheville for camp were a bit on the crazy side. I wonder what else of mine I thought I sold or packed will wind up in a magazine next!!

Below you’ll find what the magazine would have looked like had I made the cover. I didn’t, for whatever crumbly reason, but I can confuse people nonetheless with this great photo. The kind people at Stuffed worked up this alternative just in case I had won the vote. As it turns out, once again (and again and again and again) elementary shapes covered in appliqué win out over the intricate and sculptural Stupid Creatures, but that’s okay. Actually, I lie. Gosh, America, when are you gonna fall in love with quality again? We’re gonna have to soon ‘cause the Chinese are sick of working for dirt cheap. I could wax on but I hope you get the point. Alas.

Myelin, diapers, campers, brain dysfunction

murphymonstermaker@gmail.com — 2010-05-07T09:27:11-04:00

Time off. It's always bittersweet. Camp is never far from my mind. The days at camp go by pretty quickly, but that doesn't mean we counselors are spared any of the hard parts of the job.

Here's one of several things I find challenging about my job:

My kids are at camp 'cause they've broken the law in some way, shape or form. But they act incredibly entitled, demanding the utmost in accommodation, food and freedom. They do not realize yet that their actions have consequences. Nor do they realize how little they deserve luxurious accommodations after some of the things they've done to people, property or themselves.

This problem rears its head in countless situations. The campers want more, they want better, they want it now. More food, better boots, fewer chores, more games, fewer classes, fewer rules, and whatever they ask for exactly when they ask for it.

I try not to tell them no all the time. In fact, here's what I'm gonna do. I'll start saying yes to many of their requests, following up immediately with the steps to getting what they want.

For example:

Camper:
Chief John, call in and get me some new boots.

("call in" means they want me to use my walkie talkie and submit their demand to the warehouse staff)

Chief John:
Sure. As soon as we fill out a PPI (personal property inventory), you can write a business letter to your family worker expressing your need. Once that's done, we'll submit both those documents. After they've been received and processed, I'll be more than glad to call the warehouse for you.

Expected camper response:
(lip smack/tooth suck) Damn, Chief John, call the fxck in! You holding' me from my NEEDS! My boots is messed up!

(usually this means they're showing wear and don't really need to be replaced yet)

Another situation:

Camper:
Chief John! Call in and get us a lifeguard.

Chief John:
Sure. I'll check with the MC and see when Chiefs X or Y can step away from their groups and come life guard for us. I'll also check and see when the pond might be available for us to use. When were you thinking of going to the pond?

Camper:
Today. Now.

Chief John:
But it's class time. You've got a Shakespeare paper due.

Expected camper response:
(lip smack/tooth suck) Damn, Chief John, you won't let us do shxt at this fxckin' camp!

Another situation:
Camper:
Chief John! Call in and get me some fishing hooks.

Chief John:
I'd be glad to do that once you determine how much buyer's day money you have in your account, and whether you can afford fishing hooks. Once you've done that, you can submit a buyer's day form to request fishing hooks, and when buyer's day comes around, they'll be here for you. At that time, I will be more than glad to call the warehouse and ask if your hooks are in.

Expected camper response:
(lip smack/tooth suck) Damn, Chief John, I need 'em today!

Standard chief response:
In the future, you'll anticipate your needs and make the necessary plans.

Anyway. During training, I read a load of information on the developmental psychology of teenagers. I realize that these kids are reasonably incapable of seeing or perceiving or understanding anything besides their immediate desires. Something to do with "myelin," a substance in our brains that sheaths nerve fibers, causing quicker conduction of impulses. A recent NPR article explains it better, as does this article from neuranthropology.net. Essentially, teenagers don't have enough myelin yet, so their brains process things more slowly, especially the logic of cause and effect / action and consequence. I also understand that several of my kids have IQ scores that are close to special needs levels.

So basically, much of what I deal with is kids who don't follow directions, break things, hurt people, and demand carefree situations of constant pleasure and ease (and to be spoken to in a respectful tone). Without knowing too much about Alzheimer's Disease, I often tease my campers and compare them to Alzheimer's patients, ambling around, bumping into trees, failing to respond to the sound of their own names or prompts delivered in their primary spoken language. Sometimes I wish I could just diaper the lot of them. But then I'd have to be elbow deep in camp shxt nine hundred times a day (my kids have very frequent needs for the toilet).

Many campers want to just do their time, "chill," (which means to do as little as possible, cause no trouble, and do nothing to stop any trouble that might be occurring around them) and get out so they can resume their lives of petty gang banging or whatever else they were doing, before getting caught again and sent away to institutions less kind than camp.

I'll keep trying. I'm really grateful to have met most of my kids. They've all got a lot of potential, even though they don't realize it. They've got promising futures even if all they care about is "now." Maybe there are myelin pills or injections the campers can take. It might just be easier to slip estrogen into their food. Hmm. I'll fill out a buyer's day form and call the warehouse!

Until that day, I've got an appointment with my sister Julie to visit the newly renovated North Carolina Museum of Art. I'm very excited to spend some time with family, and one in particular who loves art and design. More news soon. Thanks for reading!

It was a rough week

murphymonstermaker@gmail.com — 2010-04-29T16:50:17-04:00

I still like my job. It’s a tough one but it’s a good one. Regardless of how long I stay with my camp job I know I’m in the right place for now. It’s hard trying to stay somewhat involved in the art side of my life while devoting so much of it to kids who probably won’t appreciate me until they’re my age or older. But I still don’t want to quit camp.

I like to draw while I’m there. I make portraits of my kids in blue ballpoint pen. It’s loads of fun. One of ‘em sits still, several others crowd around. Each kid wants to sit for me, but I haven’t had time to draw them all before this homesday weekend. Most of them wanted a portrait they could take home to their parents.

Right now I’m messing around with my spreadshirt account. I’ve enjoyed putting all my various camp drawings onto T-shirts for people to buy. It keeps me busy. I really should take a nap now. My step mom got home from work not too long ago, and my little brother Joey was just on the phone. I got to say hello to him and wish him well on his interview for a newspaper internship. I might have some food with my step mom before going upstairs to zone out to my hulu queue.

It makes me sad that camp keeps me from many important dates with family and friends. I’m sure it’s the same with any and every job; you gotta put your time in before trying to swap schedules with someone. I’ve got a friend getting married this coming week, I missed my grandma’s funeral, I missed my brother’s birthday. C’est la vie, after all. The kids at camp need their chiefs.

So I’m done blogging now. Gonna hang with my step mom and catch up. Enjoy my little robots and see them on shirts on the merch page. Thanks everyone for checking in with me.

Time off from camp

murphymonstermaker@gmail.com — 2010-04-23T13:57:53-04:00

Rural North Carolina can be nice if you want it to be. My camp keeps a time off apartment about 40 minutes away from camp. It gets us far enough away to feel like we’re truly detached without taking burdensome travel time from our actual hours off. Normally I visit my dad who lives just under 2 hours away when I’m off from camp, but this week I came to the “T.O. House” to spend some time with coworkers.

It’s been really nice spending time with other chiefs away from the campers, venting, chatting, comparing stories and advising one another. I have some of the best coworkers in the world. I’m liking my job more and more, even though it’s difficult. I still sometimes have a pang of wanting to be back in the studio making monsters and art, but I’ll be doing that soon enough. Gotta save some money and fix a few kids. This week, as soon as I was back from my previous time off, I spent most of Saturday chasing runaways around property. Then sunday there was an all camp riot that happened over something stupid and unrelated. Then two of my campers were exited to stronger programs for property damage, assaulting staff and generally being toxic influences on the other campers who were starting to make some progress. It was a hard week, but my co-chiefs and I plowed through, did the best we could, got our kids fed and showered and to bed every day (which is sometimes all you can hope for on a tough week).

So, as for my time off, I’m in a little shopping villagey place near the T.O. house, with expensive smoothies and wireless internet and shops that sell nothing but olive oil (sheesh, in this economy.. ). I’ve just had a smoothie and I might mosey around and look for lunch. I’m uploading youtube videos, playing around with my spreadshirt account (trying to upload more designs for t-shirts), working on doodles and drawings, trying to do paperwork, and waiting around for the next matinee of Kickass, which I’ve been wanting to see ever since getting a few of the comic books it’s based on.

After all that I’ll probably go back to the T.O. house and continue paperwork and fall asleep watching whatever I haven’t caught yet on my Hulu queue. I’ve got to get up beastly early tomorrow morning to head back to camp. We’ve got another dreaded “homesday” coming up, in which those campers who’ve behaved themselves are allowed to visit their families for 4 days. A bunch of paperwork was due today because of that, and I’m sort of glad I missed it (I should feel guilty but I kind of refuse to). Homesday usually involves the kids acting crazy the week prior ‘cause they’re excited, then acting crazy again the week after they return ‘cause they’re unhappy to be back at camp. And, of course, during homesday, camp is free from all the functional kids who do well at camp, and us chiefs must spend four days dealing with nothing but our hard cases. This will be my first homesday weekend, so we’ll see how it goes. They typically happen every 5 weeks.

More soon as it develops!! Remember to write!!

Leaving Asheville makes me feel strange

murphymonstermaker@gmail.com — 2010-02-11T19:31:11-05:00

My roommate Chad cautioned me to do what I have to do, but don’t get bitter about it. He usually says things like that to me. And it flipping annoys me to no end. I’m a verbal person. I handle my problems with a heavy element of talk. It’s how I process. I find it difficult to take seriously people who dismiss someone’s frustration as idle bitterness. Granted, I’m no Jesus, but even he aired his frustrations. Heck, I think he spoke very snarky to the disciples half the time, so maybe Jesus is a bad example. I’ll make Asheville happy and say “I’m no Buddha.” Things get to me, and then I want to talk about them. But lately I think I’ve been handling my situation very very well.

I’m nearing the end of packing my things and leaving a town I’ve called home for 6 years. I felt like I was done moving when I arrived here in 2004. I figured my next move would be to wherever my (as yet hypothetical) wife found work, or wherever my illustrious plush career took me (L.A., perhaps to launch my cartoon series.. whatever’sville). Alas, I’m leaving Asheville because I’m taking an unexpected, unusual (for me) job with a wilderness camp. I’ll be shutting down my studio and closing a chapter on working as an artist for who knows how long. I could be spewing flame with every word. But I’m not. I’m rolling with the circumstances, accepting them, and learning what’s good about them and how I can find unknown purpose behind these changes.

But today I’m really irritated with Asheville and its citizens. Maybe the stress of the move is just rearing its ugly head. Or maybe I’m totally right about our American state of comfort that has turned many of us into excuse-making, flapping, flopping, mushmouthed, lazy idiots.

Whether it’s a popular Ashevillian, progressive, modern sentiment or not, I think producing more trash is not helpful to our world. In my efforts to reduce trash, I have used primarily post consumer fabrics to make my Stupid Creatures. I have also provided pickup services to people who have burdensome fabrics they can’t bear to throw away. I’d pick it up and take it all away, and then decide if it was something I could use or if I had to take it to Goodwill myself. I’ve made many Goodwill trips over my years in this town because I thought it was the right thing to do.

So here’s where I think I should probably stop expecting people to have the same morals and ethics, or even the same applications of those morals and ethics, as me. When I put out a cry, via Facebook, Craigslist and the Asheville Artists list serve that I was getting rid of bag after bag of really good crafting/plushing/quilting fabric, I figured crafters and artists from all over the region would be glad to get their hands on free supplies and come lift my burden. I was wrong. I received several phone calls with iffy arrangements to come to my studio (or to my home) and pick up my stuff. Most of those callers rang later to push back the appointments again and again. That annoyed me. One who actually did come to investigate my supplies dug through my stuff, tore holes in bags I’d tied shut, made a great mess in my studio (kept saying sorry, which was just a meaningless, shaped exhalation), hemmed and hawed, then declined to take any fabric. Who cares if you don’t like the fabric. Something needs to be done with it! Life isn’t just about what you like or want! It’s about doing what needs to be done! If you saw two puppies covered in mud, would you wash only the one you thought was cute?

It makes me not want to be a Good Samaritan for recycling. Perhaps I should reevaluate where I get the impression that Ashevillians actually give a drat about environmental concerns (check that.. a drat about CARRYING OUT environmental concerns) in their day to day lives. I see posters, flyers, speeches from the Mayor and organizations like Quality Forward casting a recycle-y glow over this region of WNC. That, and prevailing sentiments throughout our culture, is where I got the notion that to live in this community, in this city, it would do one well to help out with the various green-movement efforts in place in all their myriad forms.

So, end annoyance number one: Individual Ashevillians probably don’t care about recycling and reducing garbage unless they can complain to someone in public for filing his plastic container in the paper bin by accident, where many people can see and go “aww, she’s such a trooper for mother earth.”

As for annoyance number two: Don’t say you’re going to come claim what I’m giving then not show up. Don’t look at a freely given supply of great stuff and refuse it. Don’t say things like “I’ll swing by sometime after 11,” and call it “making an appointment.” Don’t lean on having a cell phone as an excuse not to make an appointment. Don’t assume that just because you call to cancel or reschedule that it can be done. Appointments and arrangements are made for a reason. If we arrange to meet at 9 in the morning, I’ll assume we’re going to do that and schedule the remaining hours of my day accordingly. If you call at 9:10, when I’m very nearly ready to consider the appointment missed, don’t ask “can I just swing by at 3?” and assume you’ll get your way. Don’t tell me when you plan to swing by and assume that fits my schedule. And lastly, don’t effing ask me which dumpster I’m going to stick my stuff in after so many times trying to connect and arrange.

That’s all. I gotta keep packing. But I really want to call it a day and watch Star Trek.

Bye!!

Christmas was warm and stupidcreaturesy for quite a few families.

murphymonstermaker@gmail.com — 2010-01-04T10:03:45-05:00

Here are some pics.

Hannah L poses with her new custom Stupid Creatures toy, Sapphie, a tree dweller. Everyone seems pleased. Here’s what her mom said in an email when Sapphie arrived:

It is soo incredibly amazing. I am totally blown away. I could not have even begun to make up something that cool (which is why we left it up to you)! This was the only thing Hannah asked for for Christmas and she is going to be so happy when she opens it. It's killing her because I won't let her see it. Anyhow thanks for coming through and creating the most amazing Christmas gift for a thirteen year old girl who never wants anything, not because she is spoiled, but because she appreciates what she has. I just want you to know that I really do appreciate all of the time and effort you put into Sapphie.

You’re very welcome, L Family. Remember to use those Stu-Pons for your next custom job!! I’m really glad they took photos of Sapphie, ‘cause I didn’t!! AAAA

Zoe G. an Asheville Local poses with his new Ready-Made Stupid Creatures new Mona, one of the TicTacks featured in a recent video. Zoe’s mom is a frequent visitor to my studio and has quite a few creatures in her collection. Thanks A Heap!!

Repeat customer Maggie F. from Austin, TX said this the other day:
"Got my creature yesterday! Thank you so much for sending it to me, he is so wonderful. I will post good things on Etsy too. Just know the work you put in spreads so much joy. We are grateful."

And then she sent me this great pic of her boy, not only holding his new creature Tyrell, but wearing one of the shirts from my spreadshirt shop. Thanks, Maggie!!

To everybody who made this Holiday Season Stupid Creaturesy, you have my deepest thanks!

Snowy in Asheville

murphymonstermaker@gmail.com — 2009-12-28T08:53:29-05:00

Happy Holidays everyone! Thanks for coming to my website and supporting my work. It’s a very snowy, beautiful day in Asheville right now. Here’s a photo of what the world looks like outside my studio.

I’ve written a very special BLARG! entry that I’d love all of you to see. I’d love your feedback on it as well. It strikes a very sensitive nerve with my handmade nature. Give it a look and tell me what you think. You can comment below the blog itself.

When you’re done being angry about it, visit my Videos page and have a look at a recent custom job I did. I’m very pleased with how it turned out and so is the customer who lives in England. Thanks for stopping in and I wish you all a very merry Whatever Holiday Applies.

Target ad smears handcrafters and praises sweatshops.

murphymonstermaker@gmail.com — 2009-12-18T20:48:32-05:00

What the eff is up with this twisted commercial?

The kid asks his mom if Santa shops at Target. The mom says no, and tells her kid that “Santa makes his own things.” What the blazes is so bad about that? Many people make their own things. They’re called artists, craftspeople, smiths or something along those lines.

Then the bedraggled, suburban harpy mother goes on to say “With elves.” At that point the commercial switches to a bunch of old men dressed in green, doing a rotten job at hand making various toys. The kid becomes disenchanted with the notion, and pines for the mass marketed toys on the Target shelves.

Little does the yuppy larva know that all those toys for which he salivates were made by sweatshop workers overseas, and are probably drenched in lead and other toxins.

Hey Target: You suck. You suck big time. Your commercial is tasteless and utterly in discord with many Americans’ desire to leave big box commerce behind and return industry to American workers and individuals. Your implication that handmade works are somehow better than mass marketed trash (which is largely handmade as well, sadly, considering the conditions) is insulting and counterintuitive to the way the world needs to think about what we consume and how it’s made. This commercial is very Walmart, I hope you know. You’ve really sunk, Target. I’m glad the holidays are temporary. Maybe if you never run bullshxt like this again we’ll forgive and forget. I’ll be writing to your corporate offices now.

Target commercial: Made By Elves from provato on Vimeo.

New Merch, You All

murphymonstermaker@gmail.com — 2009-09-22T09:45:59-04:00

Hi Everybody.

I keep a Café Press on hand for non-wearable merchandise. Just visit the merchandise page here on the site and click accessories. I find the sublimation printing process Café Press uses looks fantastic on non-fabric surfaces such as greeting cards and coffee mugs. I’m giving the shop a test run just now, and for the moment I’m featuring the image you see below. New designs will be featured on some sort of basis once I get my head wrapped around a schedule. Anyway, check things out and if you see anything you like, by all means, click. If you see something you would like but isn’t there, by all means let me know.

Thanks!
John

The D'Zturbanites

murphymonstermaker@gmail.com — 2009-09-20T20:41:46-04:00

Enter the D’ZTURBANITES

Hi everybody..

Be the first to own a piece of my new line. The first four D’Zturbanites are available in my Etsy shop right now (one was donated to a local function). In keeping with the prevalent graffiti in my neck of the River Arts District, I’ve decided to take a basic sock creature construction method and embellish it a bit. I’m using cutouts from elaborate printed cottons and solid T-shirts. The results are really striking. More D’Zturbanites (pronounced Dis-turb-an-ites) will come soon. I couldn’t wait to make a ton before I started posting. This should tide you all over till more Zombabies and Glumys appear.

“Urban” art and fashion is very popular in our culture, even in places that are largely rural like Asheville. It seems few people, especially youngsters, want to cultivate or glorify (or even develop) aesthetic motifs that represent a more rural surrounding. So, with the D’Zturbanites, I’m kind of poking a little bit of tongue in cheek at this unacceptance of situation I see around me. Some of the local proponents of “urban” ism probably couldn’t even define what “urban” ism means without resorting to tons of buzz words delivered with imitated ethnic inflections. Still, it’s a great aesthetic and I’m glad people are actively developing and propagating it. Maybe I’ll learn something the more attention I pay, and wind up changing my opinion about these locals and their motivations. I’m always open to that.

Ultimately, I’m very fortunate that my studio overlooks a vacant lot full of constantly changing graffiti murals. The work is incredible and I hope it stays there always. There’s a good chance it may since the lot is privately owned, and I believe the owner allows all of the painters to come and contribute. The murals change perhaps weekly. I’ve taken advantage of the exceptional work as backgrounds for my photo shoots. Gosh I love this area.

Thanks everyone!

The New Box Set is Ready!!

murphymonstermaker@gmail.com — 2009-09-02T14:38:54-04:00

Hi, Everybody!! The new box set for Stupid Sock Creatures is READY TO MEET THE WORLD! My editor, Terry, sent me this photo. Make Your Own Stupid Sock Creatures is available but not yet in stores. Go to your favorite bookstore and do the emergency bathroom dance and ask, beg and plead for this awesome new box set to be stocked!! Generate some buzz. Make the book store people want to set up massive kiosks and intimidating displays.

The book within is a slimmed-down version of my original book, and it contains instructions for Zarzak, the Silent Terror, a new creature you can make out of the provided toe socks within. This box set is perfect for sock creature veterans who need something new to wet their whistle, and great as well for newcomers.

I must give mega big-ups to Terry (pictured) for pioneering this revamp of the original box set after production of the old one got really pricey all of a sudden. Spread the word everyone. I can’t wait to see new pics of new creatures from new fans, current and veteran.

Thanks!

Darned CPSIA

murphymonstermaker@gmail.com — 2009-08-25T14:25:31-04:00

Hi, everybody.

I have some very strange news. As of August 14th, 2009, Stupid Creatures will officially stop marketing to children under 12 years old. I have nothing against kids and pre teens. In fact, some of my favorite fans and customers are kids under 12. By no means do I want to indicate that I no longer like kids or want to serve them. But there are some new laws in place that now make it unreasonably expensive for me to do that for the time being.

America has established new laws governing the manufacture of toys. Because of some tremendous oversights and mistakes made by various overseas manufacturers (and the Americans who hired them), many, many toys, clothing items and food products for kids were recalled over the past couple of years because they contained lead, toxic plasticizing components called phthalates, and other nasty substances.

The Consumer Products Safety Improvement Act, which applies to everyone from gigantic corporations all the way down to us hand crafters, now REQUIRES each and every one of us to submit to expensive testing of the products we make. In a nutshell, we crafters now have to submit for testing one piece from every run of products we make. Each piece will be disassembled into its component parts, in my case, various fabric, stuffing, thread, my product tag and eyes. And each component part will undergo a test for phthalates, then a test for lead. Each test is upwards of a hundred bucks or more. I’d essentially be paying $800 to $1000 to test an item I sell for $30 to $50 bucks.

I understand that consumer safety is important, but until these laws change to suit small businesses and hand crafters, I have to establish a drastic rule. Only people aged 13 and older may order products from me. What they do with my creatures, or whom they give them to afterward, is none of my business.

This, of course, means that even though all of my work is child safe anyway, I can get a bit more edgy and conceptual with the designs. I can use new and different materials and try new concepts. Who knows if I’ll do all that. Chances are I’ll keep making new runs of new designs just like I’ve always done. Ultimately, this big mess only indicates that we need to bring manufacturing back home to America where we have safety standards already in place. We need to rely more on American hand crafters than big chain stores.

In the meantime, help crafters amend this law by joining groups such as the Handmade Toy Alliance.

Anyway, now you know the deal. If you have any questions, you know where to find me.

A letter to an Asheville City Council Candidate

murphymonstermaker@gmail.com — 2009-08-14T12:14:48-04:00

Hi, Everybody..

My acquaintance Jenny Bowen is running for city council in Asheville. I think she’s a hard working, creative lady with lots of energy and drive and she clearly loves this town. But before I vote the progressive party line, I had to ask her some questions. Here’s what I wrote to her. Feel free to comment.

Hi, Jenny..

What does being progressive mean to you?

I'd like to think that I'm one. Many of my opinions and thoughts on government and culture are left of center.

Some problems, though, that I have encountered with progressiveism fall along this theme:

Most of my liberal friends (who now call themselves progressives) would prefer that people agree with them, and rather than letting it be (each to his own) when someone has a different opinion, they argue and try to change that person's mind when it's really none of their business. Some even go as far as to openly vilify people who disagree with them.

I don't know you very well, but I have enjoyed our encounters. You and I are on the same page about many things, especially this town and all it's unique potential, local economy, entrepreneurship, and not being lazy. I can totally get behind someone who wants to motivate the citizens of a town to higher standards of living, working, producing and consuming.

I'm a Move-On member, and I get their emails. In a nutshell, they tell me what to believe and present articles and news reports with a slant. They tell me what to vote for, and where, when and why to organize events for whatever cause. Often times I agree with them anyway and sign their petitions. But Move-on, being a primary voice for progressiveism in America, gives me the impression that to be "progressive," I have to believe certain things or I'm an enemy. And friends of mine have in recent years become similarly emboldened to look at me aghast and argue at the opinions I've, by my own life experience, wrestled long and hard to develop.

I became a Move-On member because I felt our country had been hijacked by Dubya and his administration, and I wanted our democracy back. Similarly, I voted for Obama mainly to get the country out of the grips of what I believe has become a totalitarian party. I didn't vote for him because I think being a republican is in and of itself bad. We've just had bad luck with republicans lately.

I want to live in a culture that allows healthy disagreement. I don't believe that laws have the power to determine what's wise or moral. I don't believe that because something is legal, it's by virtue good or right or even wise. I don't believe that creating new laws will change what is and isn't moral/good/right.

I don't believe the government is the heart and soul of our culture. If, for example, same sex marriage becomes legal, will religious practitioners have the freedom not to officiate a same sex marriage if they disagree with it? If abortions wind up being covered by Obama's health care plan, will doctors who disagree with abortion be free to decline performing them? Will freedom of religion and conscientious objection be preserved or diminished?

I believe in creating laws that preserve fairness and freedom. I don't believe in creating laws that tell us what to think and believe and whether or not it's okay to practice those beliefs. Does progressiveism mean that we get to change the government in such a way that we can punish people for having different points of view?

Could I simply be seeing the other side of a pendulum swing post Bush?

I think it's great you're running for city council. I hope I can talk to all the candidates and get to know them as well..

Thanks!! Best wishes for your campaign. You've certainly developed quite a supportive following

Yours truly,
John

Talent abounds.

murphymonstermaker@gmail.com — 2009-08-04T16:23:50-04:00

This guy is very creative. He’s Kieth Habersberger, an up and coming improv actor. Find his website on my links page.

The Fourth, albeit a tad late

murphymonstermaker@gmail.com — 2009-07-07T07:16:42-04:00

Hi, Everybody.

It’s rare I take time away from the studio. Right now I’ve got tons going on, and I’m only just staying on top of it. Still, this year’s 4th of July weekend was an exception I made to the grindstone at my nose.

The 4th of July is my stepmother Janine’s birthday. It’s also the wedding anniversary of my mom and step dad. As it isn’t all that customary to be a third wheel during someone’s anniversary, and as it’s been a very hectic year for Janine, I opted to go visit her. My dad was there, of course, so were my two younger siblings Joseph and Julie. We had a good time.

My stepmom’s brother David, his wife Jane and their daughter Ann were in town from Parker, Colorado, as well. I hadn’t seen Ann since she was probably 13. I’m not sure what the occasion was. But she’s completely grown now, albeit still a highschooler. All of us gathered at Janine and David’s parents’ house in Raleigh for Janine’s birthday party. We had barbecue, a cake, plenty of seasonal fruits and a really top notch watermelon.

I went with Joey, Julie and Ann to the Raleigh fairgrounds to watch fireworks. Parking was easy, leaving was a chore. But it was good to be there with my amazing family and people watch.

Now, I’m one of those typical postmodern cynics who has never worn an American flag pin. I have no patriotic bumper stickers and certainly no paraphernalia that equates being an American with being a Christian. I do not think I’m any better or any worse than anyone else for being an American, and I don’t hold the smug opinion that America is the greatest nation in the world.

At the fairgrounds, I looked around and saw lots of bulging, misshapen, fashionless people who might raise the eyebrows of Europeans and make them curl a lip and sniff. I saw (metric) tons of people who reminded me of the curse of Wal Mart, the plague of gluttony and the unappreciated illusion of comfort. I saw one group of sackish roundies lumped in lawn chairs around a grill, faces forward, close to their paper plates. A song could be heard from the stereo of their SUV; something about putting a boot in your ass if you mess with America. And part chewing, part singing, many of them fell in step with the song. I tell you. In a time of crisis, could these Jabbas be counted on to defend our nation? Could any one of them be depended upon to contribute a thought towards reworking health care, improving public education or fixing the economic crisis? Would they just sit back in their groaning folding chairs, filling their face with the remains of charred, greasy animal, shout pro-American (whatever that means these days) diatribes and just allow the world to occur around them? I could feel the judgment welling up within me against all these obese people who Wont. Stop. Eating. Junk. Food. And their spherical children, squawking in inarticulate drawling honks and squeaks.

Don’t get me wrong. I’ve made plenty of wrong, hurtful, unjustified sneers at large people, and I’m working on becoming more sensitive. You can tell the difference between someone who is gluttonous, lazy and self destructive and one who simply has a big body shape. I’m not coming down on being fat. There were plenty of thin people as well crouched around their own grills, while their own children seemed to supply the What Not To Do footage for self help videos for baboons.

But there were other people at the fairgrounds. I saw parents playing with kids. I saw groups of kids gather for an impromptu game of swatting a tennis ball to each other handball style. That, I thought, was pretty creative. I liked the way those kids adapted to their circumstance of an empty, dirt field, and no other equipment than a tennis ball. They all got on really well and seemed to have a great time.

I saw a toddler waddle up to another family and sit down with their toddler as if the two were a married couple. His mom wasn’t even fazed that her kid had wandered off. In fact, she herself walked up and introduced herself while their kids played. I was pleased to see that so many people had turned out for a pro-American event. I took note that there was a tremendous ethnic mix. Nobody quibbled, and it appeared that, other than groups of family members, nobody really carved out enclaves. My family and I were flanked by Koreans behind us, a black woman and her son next to us, Latinos in front of us, and two rows down, Bengalis. With ease and familiarity, the woman and her son next to us asked a white man in the next row if he could spare some napkins since the boy’s funnel cake was getting the better of him. There was no awkwardness, no over-niceness, no forced smiles or great exaggerated shows of accommodation. It was just a thing. Somebody needed a napkin. All at once, it was profound and mundane. It’s no big deal to need or to give a napkin. Half a century ago, however, that simply wouldn’t have happened. But it happened here, now, in America. We’ve at least proven that human beings can be kind and comfortable around each other.

While the fireworks went on, many pro-America, pro-being American songs played loudly and tinny over the booming speakers. The songs were almost all country western. Hmm. I look forward to a day when other kinds of white people and people of other cultures and colors feel good enough about living here to make pro-American songs of their own. I heard the twangy “Proud to Be an American” song that came on the radio a bunch during high school when Bush Jr.’s gulf war was in full swing. I hate that song. Particularly because it was written during/because of a Bush war. I don’t like Bush wars. I think the Bushes are scoundrels and I don’t trust them. I don’t care for patriotic diatribes that make us look like such strugglers, victims and overcomers during times of incredible ease in which only the families of the soldiers who fight are affected by a war. I’m not necessarily proud to be an American. My Christian faith discourages being proud, since all that we have to be proud of comes from the grace of God. I’m not ashamed of being an American either. I just don’t think I’m any more blessed by God than anyone else just because I was born white in America.

The National Anthem was sung that night by a very talented black woman. She was extremely practiced and skilled. She hit every note and then some. As some singers do, this one fluttered around the melody in acrobatic arcs and dips, but not as if to show off. Some people do that ‘cause they can’t find the melody. This lady was simply darned good at what she did. The event’s choice of her as a singer offset, at least in my mind, the predominantly country white aesthetic of the event. If there are non-whites who are particularly happy to be Americans, we don’t hear about them much. I’d be curious to hear their stories.

So, anyway, there I was with some of my family and tons of strangers. I’ve got a stepparent’s birthday to celebrate and another stepparent’s anniversary to honor, so the 4th of July makes me stop and consider not just my place within America, but my place within my family. Depending on the angle an observer took, America or my family could be seen as wretched. My family is rife with bad habits, divorces, anger, resentment, awkwardness, you name it. America is full of gluttonous, greedy, loud, smelly, selfish, crass, dull, ugly, obese, hoarding, conquering and smug people. On the other hand, my family has overcome a lot. We’ve dusted off, forgiven, forgotten, learned our lessons, patched up and moved on. America is full of responsible people aware of our many problems, and who wish not to jump ship and expatriate, but stick around and make the ship float better. I think I’ll stick around too.

So, in sticking around, I’m off to the studio to continue preparations for a TV series I wish to pitch, based on my creatures. How great is it that I want to give Americans one more reason to loaf on the couch in front of the TV, and buy plastic things off of toy store shelves? I think I’m doing it because it’s a high stakes, high odds challenge, and I want it. Could that be an American trait? Perhaps. Anyway. I’ve left you with a few teaser sketches around this entry to let you see what I’m working on. You’re welcome to speculate and leave comments.

Take care!

Hull Hits Home

murphymonstermaker@gmail.com — 2009-07-01T22:39:25-04:00

Hi, Everybody..

I love receiving word that a creature has made it safely to its new home. I love it even more when pics are sent. But what puts this over the top is some top notch fan art from my creature’s recipient. Young Elijah from Midlothian, VA sent confirmation that the Zombaby Hull has arrived safely.

Now, Hull’s trip was not without its wrinkles. Elijah’s mom first spoke to me while having some difficulty negotiating my Etsy page. It was a bit glitchy and hopefully by now I’ve fixed it.

So while Elijah’s mom and I were over the phone trying to address the Etsy glitch, I had the privilege of speaking to Elijah as well. He’s a nice kid and outspoken for his age. I heard his dad in the background cursing my book because of all the extra sewing he now has to do to keep his family happy. Ha.. Plush is work, you all, but it’s worth every effort (note the pic of the happy kid holding a handmade stuffy).

I think Hull was bought last Thursday, and I got him to the mail on Friday. Today (Wednesday) Elijah’s mom emailed to ask if there was a tracking number for Hull since he hadn’t arrived yet. I ran the USPS tracking info, and was given a very strange report.

Apparently Hull had made a slight detour to Oak Creek, Wisconsin. I cobbled together a map (below) so I could better grasp the concept of the trip Hull must have taken while in the care of the USPS. I wish he hadn’t been taped up inside a cardboard box. He could have taken loads of photos and bought souvenirs from every state he visited while on his winding, meandering journey to a destination just one state away from his origin. Sakes alive.

Of course, nobody from the customer service hotline at USPS could help me with the whole Wisconsin thing. Did it really happen? Is the USPS a big, swirling idiot or was the tracking system simply wrong? The good still outweighs the bad, though. I do like our postal system. Even though they give no guarantees for delivery times, even though we customers pay certain prices for certain services (priority mail typically arrives within 2 to 3 days to most destinations, but it’s not guaranteed). At any rate..

At the moment, I’m in my studio just sweltering despite the sun having set hours and hours ago. Nothing will make me enjoy the summer heat. I mean, if I had some kind of solar panel that converted the obscene amount of summertime radiation into hundred dollar bills, I could be persuaded to change my tune. But alas, that’d be too helpful so of course it’s not going to happen. It’s time for me to go home and shower and change my sheets for the ninetieth time this week (‘cause of all the excessive perspiration. I swear, I don’t go number 1 between May and October). It’s been a long day and tomorrow will be even longer. I’ve got a meeting with the editor of my new book tomorrow, so I’ll be cranking out material from the crack of dawn till I see the whites of his eyes. Can’t disappoint the ones who butter your bread, right?

Sakes.. I’m talking all out of my head now.. I’m so tired I’ve stopped making sense. On that note, I’ll leave you with a really great drawing from a really great youngster.

Thanks, everyone!

Shut the EFF UP, Leo, Skids and Mudflap

murphymonstermaker@gmail.com — 2009-06-25T13:14:53-04:00

Hi, Everybody..

Go see Transformers, Revenge of the Fallen (make sure you turn off lights and unplug your fridge so the site won’t load and run so slowly). It’s truly a CGI masterpiece. I went to see it just to watch the robots move and transform. I enjoyed that immensely. I can’t imagine it being more top notch.

The story was a fine one, but it left us with no cliffhanger or any indication that there’d be a third movie. I’m sure once Michael Bay, et al, sees how much money this sequel rakes in, they’ll put out for a third.

Anyway. I wish we could have seen more of the motorcycle sisters. They had cameos at best. The cast of Autobot cars was well selected, with plenty from the previous cast and some new ones for this movie.

So. Two new Autobots, Skids and Mudflap, apparent twins, got on my last nerve the moment I heard them speak. They barely shut up throughout the entire 2.5 hour movie, daggering us with badly imitated ebonics and hackneyed street slang the whole, entire time. They wound up being redeemable characters after a while, striking some significant blows to an impressive adversary, the Decepticon combiner Devastator. Otherwise, they were jibber jabbering idiots who needed no inclusion in the movie. If I were Optimus Prime, I’d have shot them myself.

To boot, the lead character Sam Witwicky’s college roommate Leo wasn’t much better than the blabberjabbering twins. He wouldn’t shut up either. Leo is a conspiracy theorist who gets roped into the human/Cybertronian drama, and won’t shut up about his rights and who can force him to this or make him do that. He spoke at a very rapid clip in a whiny, scaredycat inflection most any time his mouth was open throughout the entire film. At times he exhibited an exaggerated b-boy, badass air, but was never ever just calm or chill or what have you. Blabba blibba blabba jabba jibba talka talka talka bla bla bla bla bla shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up SHUT UP!!

So, the movie held my attention because I’m a Transformers fan. The movie will hold non-fans’ attention with near constant, over-the-top destruction and explosions, utterly superfluous, gratuitous sexual references, and equally superfluous attempts at crass “humor,” a la, John Turturo in a thong, and a pair of clanging, pendulous nads on Devastator.

If you can handle the negatives, watch it. Watch it someplace nice with stadium seating and great sound. The movie’s worth splurging on a better theater.

I took the photos from www.transformers2.net, and then I altered ‘em.

The Studio Stroll was a lot of fun

murphymonstermaker@gmail.com — 2009-06-16T09:43:01-04:00

Boy am I wiped. It’s the Tuesday following the RDA Spring Studio STroll for 2009. I’m here in my studio trying to wrap my head around the day and make my to do list.

Anyway, for tough times, the stroll did me reasonably well. The Zombabies were incredibly well received, so were the Glumys. I only made 7 Glumys and they’re gone already. The Zombabies have been reduced in number by a reasonable half. You can find the rest on the Merch page.

The stroll began rather slowly on Saturday and took a good half day to get really rolling. People visited me from Roanoke, VA, Georgia, South Carolina, Hawaii and of course locally. All my juju fish were eaten, which was fine. I’ve had juju fish out now for quite a few strolls for the people to chew on while they ruminate a possible purchase.

I was really pleased to see Belma Jean Rhodes and Sirius Allergees go to a Georgian couple. It’s rare you see two of my big ones go at the same time. I’ll miss them a lot. But soon I will have replaced them with other monsters. I’m not all that worried. Though, Sirius bore the last remnants of a brown sweater my sister gave me for Christmas one year. The sweater had become too small to get my head through, so I hacked it to bits and made Sirius.

Local metalsmith David Earl Tomlinson and his son Drake came in to play for a bit. Drake drew me a really great monster in my guest book. David Earl is working next door to my studio temporarily. See his website dynamicmetalwork.com.

Next on my list is writing a book, developing character concepts, a little big-industry toy design, and more production of more monsters for more shows. I love being an artist. I must watch for falling boulders.

Ugly ROTF Transformers Toys

murphymonstermaker@gmail.com — 2009-06-06T10:10:58-04:00

Hi, Everybody.

Gotta get something off my chest. As a die hard fan of the Transformers since age 9, it is a dream come true to see them on the big screen in live action situations. As a toy designer, I’m also quite impressed with how well the live action movie characters have been made into toys. Though, two items from the up coming movie really make me want to puke. You’ll find out why after I dig and delve for a bit.

I got my first Transformers toy, the Autobot Jazz, for my ninth birthday back in 1984. I have loved the Transformers ever since. As a child, as you’ll find unsurprising, I preferred playing with stuffed toys than with toy cars and trucks. I was utterly unimpressed by toy versions of machines of many kinds.

When Transformers hit American TV screens and stores, I was immediately hooked.

I don’t know much about the history of Transformers, and without going into too much detail, I’ll say what I understand. Various lines of Japanese robot characters which had “alt” modes as machines, weapons and vehicles were acquired and branded under one name, the Transformers, and marketed to Americans. If I’m wrong, please point me in the right direction.

I’m dilettantish at best when it comes to the history and the expansive “why” behind the Japanese fascination with, and prowess at, robotics, robot toys, their function, design, implementation and application. But what stood out to me was the basic concept at heart; machine becomes humanoid.

First I saw the toys in stores. I was fascinated. Friends started getting them for birthdays and such. I was jealous. Dad got me Jazz. I was thrilled. At last, I could relate to cars and machines. Even in vehicle mode, I knew there was a person waiting inside my new toy Porsche ready to come out and interact with hands, feet and face. The artist/creator/maker within me really resonated with the challenge of making all the humanoid parts fold up, become and fit within a realistic looking machine. I became quite impressed with the many applications of that challenge.

As the transformers line grew and changed, the standards were raised on points of articulation and poseability. The designs became better and better. Realistic machinery (or believable machinery, in cases of non-earth vehicles) now became even better looking, better functioning anthropomorphs.

The odd asymmetrical arm, or weapon instead of a hand popped up occasionally, and for the most part I enjoyed that. It’s okay to take liberties with anatomy. We’re talking about fiction and toys and imagination after all. But. I feel the need, as a lifelong, devoted disciple of design, and a throw-myself-in-front-of-a-train adorer of Transformers, to draw a line in the dirt, and take a stand on a couple of recent items.

The recent, live-action Transformers movie, and the new one coming out this summer, feature robot characters that are a lot more alien in appearance than the toys and cartoon characters we’ve known in the past. I understand this was a directorial decision made to emphasize the characters’ otherworldly origins. It took me a little while to warm up to these character’s sharp, jagged, covered-in-cutlery appearances.

But these days I really like the alien robotic aesthetic. I think it works for the movie. As well, it raises the standard yet again for toy design. Everyday machinery must now convert into much more complex forms that still retain basic human anatomy and hold true to their alien movie nature. But recent characters for the 2009 movie represent an unfortunate departure from this high standard of conceptual design. For such a well-funded and well implemented couple of movies, the characters and toy versions of Demolishor and a new version of mega-popular female Autobot Arcee are just downright pathetic.

Look at Demolishor (the red and grey one pictured). He’s a Decepticon from the new live action film Transformers; Revenge of the Fallen. He’s made up of a teensy head, floating between two great big arms, and suspended by pegs over a massive, tipsy topsy wobbly wheel. Given the complexity and detail of the other characters in the new movie, this one doesn’t belong. This one, for that matter, barely fits within the Transformers aesthetic at all. Granted, there have been other Transformers with nontraditional anatomies, like Beast Machines Rattrap, who, in the cartoon had two wheels instead of legs. His well-designed toy version featured the option for wheeled legs or traditional ones with feet. It’s not Demolishor’s non-humanoid arrangement that bothers me. What bothers me is that such a great looking machine (the power shovel pictured) flubs and splays open into a gangling, clumsy-looking interchange of poorly supported and inarticulate parts.

Most of the power shovel’s mass is frittered away on the gargantuan shoulders and gorilla arms. Those titanic arms appear to have no forward articulation and look more like buttresses to the otherwise unable to stand figure rather than working limbs that reach, grab and pose. I imagine the other Decepticons have to feed him and help him go to the bathroom. The floating wheel atop all the dishevelment of Demolishor’s body is also a head scratcher. It looks like it could topple forward and roll off. What is it there for? Perhaps I’ll discover what it’s for in the movie. Perhaps the movie version of Demolishor looks incredible with that anatomy. Perhaps he uses his unique build in savvy, unpredictable, terrifying ways. I’ll know when I see the film. But I’m sure the toy version could have had a bit more effort spent on detail, design and transformation. He looks like a ride at the fair.

Similarly, the current movie version of Arcee, arguably the most popular and influential female Autobot in Transformers lore, has a wretched toy form. In the 1986 animated Transformers the Movie, Arcee was introduced to the world with a futuristic car alt mode. Very, very few attempts have been made to create a toy version of Arcee that remotely mimics the original movie version we’ve come to know and love. Many different toy versions of Arcee exist. Most of them are motocrycles. I think the vaunted character deserves a higher regard than this from those who make the toys.

Even though she wasn’t a character in the 2007 Transformers movie, there was a toy version of Arcee within that movie’s toy line. I liked that version, even though it was a motorcycle. Apparently attempts were made to animate that version for the 2007 movie. I was under the impression we’d see that version of Arcee in the upcoming Transformers movie, but apparently we will not. Quite a few rumors fly about which version of Arcee we’ll see in this movie, but if this is the toy we’ll get, I’m thoroughly disappointed. The red motorcycle pictured is a nice looking machine. It apparently unravels into a jointy intestine of a robot, with bits of motorcycle kibble hanging off of it. It needs a stand, for pete’s sake, because two wheels alongside each other do not support a body. In fact, two wheels alongside each other are not, in fact, legs (unless you’re Beast Machines Rattrap).

I feel about this toy the same way I felt Ironhide (and ratchet) from the first generation of transformers. His brethren transformed from amazing machine forms into very nice looking robots. Ironhide, on the other hand, started out as a red van (I have no problem with vans), which promptly lost its roof, entire cargo/passenger section and rear doors, leaving the windshield, grill and axels to become a scrawny looking runt of a robot, utterly undeserving of the name Ironhide.

The other 70% of his mass turned into some strange looking tank/sled/jetski thin with a cannon on it. Nifty concept, but inconsistent with the high standards set by the rest of the brand. Ironhide’s cartoon appearance was a much more appealing sight, and since then, attempts have been made to create a toy that pays homage to that cartoon form.

If only Arcee could have the same attention paid to her toy version. Collectors all over the world would go nuts for an Arcee toy that looks like Arcee. Enough of grabbing whatever transformer you want and painting it pink and white and trying to pass it off as Arcee. Enough building us up with CGI images of really rad movie concepts, then punching us in the neck with the (pictured) Red Spaghetti Cobra Monster.

I love Transformers and will remain a devoted fan. I hereby submit that the directors, decision makers and toy designers, however thickly buried within the Transformers world, escort ROTF Demolishor and ROTF Arcee to the kill room, do what needs to be done, then return to the drawing boards, having taken stock of the very important legacy which they now perpetuate, and start the heck over.

Images provided by www.siebertron.com, www.tfw2005.com, www.ntf-archive.de and wikipedia.

Obh Mubh Gbuudness.. I cabn't feebl mby lipthth!!

murphymonstermaker@gmail.com — 2009-06-02T17:18:01-04:00

Hi, Everybody,

I’m just back from the dentist. As you can see from the photo the local anesthetic is making half my face droop. What a hilarious trip. I like my doctor and his staff quite a bit now. I’d gone in for an exam several months ago just to see which way was up, since I hadn’t been to the dentist in nearly a decade. The doctor told me I had two little places in need of filling and one spot they were gonna keep a close watch on. So, long story short I had all that done today. I was told that there’d be like an hour wait between the cleaning and the fillings, so I brought my laptop with me to continue writing the new book.

Didn’t get much done with that, I’m afraid, but that’s okay. So, a friendly hygienist named Cindy led me back to the slab where we both shared our interest in running charity races and our deep disdain for hot weather. So she checks my gums, makes a few “hmm.” noises. I found those rather telling. But all told, my mouth wasn’t that badly disgusting. The past near-decade of dentistry-free tooth management had done me rather well.

Right now I’m trying to slap my face and get some feeling back in my cheek. I’m trying to eat a bagel and I don’t know how much pressure to put on my food. According to National Geographic’s Dr. Brady Barr, a human bite measures at 120 psi (pounds per square inch). I’d tear my cheek to bits if I bit through it right now! Thank goodness for pain, keeping us from chewing ourselves to shreds on any given day. Anyway..

Apparently, behind one’s bottom front teeth, the plaque and tartar tend to build up in greater quantities than anywhere else in your mouth. The Cindy commenced scraping, picking, pulling and . I thought for a sec we’d discover that my bottom teeth were nothing more than stalagmites of pure tartar, and would eventually be scraped and scratched away to nothing. So now I’ve got just acres of space in between my front bottom teeth. I will never stop fumbling my tongue between them. It’s such an interesting sensation! I should call the Wal-Mart people (may they burn forever in a thousand-foot-deep pit of terror) and have ‘em open up a new superstore behind my bottom incisors. Then vote them out with an unexpected local public uprising.

So I had to have a couple of teeth capped today. One of my aforementioned bottom incisors had worn down from a lifetime of nail biting, and one of my molars had just not been professionally seen to in a decade or so. Stuff like fillings tend to happen when you don’t visit the dentist y’all. At any rate, the worst is over. And as an added bonus, the new cap on my bottom tooth changes my bite just enough that I can’t grip my fingernails like I used to, so we may be witnessing the end of an era. One can only hope.

Anyway, back to work.

Thanks,
John

Lessons Service Page Updated

murphymonstermaker@gmail.com — 2009-06-01T22:27:15-04:00

Hi, Everybody. Click on Lessons now, in the Services tab. It’s been expanded and enfleshed. I’ve told a little about some of the teaching situations I’ve been in, and created 3 galleries. One to show kids at work making creatures, one to show adults, and one to show other professional sewers (who look remarkably like the plain old adults in the other gallery but are actually professional quilters and fashiony sorts).

Granted, the categories are quite general as kids show up in the adults section, and adults show up in the kids section, and it’s very likely an amateur or two snuck into the pros. But that’s okay. You’ll get the gist. Go have a look. I’m sure you’ll like it all.

Back to Production.. More Zombabies in the queue.

murphymonstermaker@gmail.com — 2009-06-01T15:37:10-04:00

These guys are the most fun to make. Rather than doing as I did with the last run of 7, I’m sort of processing all 8 of these at the same time. I spent a while yesterday just doing arms. When all 16 arms were done I stitched hair on all 8 heads. Then I attached inner mouth to outer mouth 8 times, and so on and so forth.

Next I’ll finish up stitching their ears, then it’s time to do teeth and tongues.. That’ll take a while, appliquéing 64 teeth into 8 mouths.. I’m looking forward to it though. They’ve received enough of a good review that I want to keep on making them.

Ideally, I’ll be saving all these little guys for the studio stroll happening in just under 2 weeks. I need back stock before I open my doors to tourists. But in the interest of covering all my bases, I’ll have them posted to the Etsy page as well. If one sells during the stroll, I’ll just remove it from display. If one sells in the shop, and then on Etsy, I’ll simply refund the Etsy customer with an apology. I’ve done this before and I don’t think it’s cheating.

Anyway, time for me to get to sewing.

Thanks everyone,
John

Gallery Update

murphymonstermaker@gmail.com — 2009-06-01T15:20:58-04:00

My goodness gracious.. I’m about brain dead after finagling the inner workings of the gallery pages. If you hover on the Galleries menu tab, a list of its sub menu items pops up. Similarly, if those sub menu items have sub menu items of their own, they’ll pop up if you hover over the sub menu item in question. And so on, and so on, and so on.

I like that feature reasonably well, but suppose I want to save my viewers the confusion of so many sub menu tabs popping into existence? I’ll check the forum and see if there’s a way I can turn all that off, at least for some of the sub menu items.

Anyway, I’ve started adding groups of creatures into sub menus based on the story lines I’ve been developing. Each time I make a run of creatures, often I’m using the same techniques over and over again, and thus the individual creatures in the run look very similar. They become a family, or a unified group of characters. So that’s how I’m posting all of the new creatures. If any of that makes sense to you, I’d be pleased. At the moment I’m kind of bleary from doing all this messing around with the website.

I await your critique on functionality and simplicity.. if there is any left.

So, speaking of new postings, even though he was on the website before (you’ll notice that the previous “new creatures” page has changed drastically), I’ve got Dr. Morticius Drathmave with me here. He’s listed on Etsy as Drath. In fact, you can see him still in the sidebar as he’s quite unsold. He’s the last of a particular series I have left. Anyway, Buy him. He’s cheaper now and he’s a great fellow, having recently turned over a new leaf.

Take care, everyone!
John

Another Services Update and I'm getting really buffed for summer.

murphymonstermaker@gmail.com — 2009-06-01T07:20:12-04:00

RRAARRR, Everybody!

I’ve just had the morning workout with my housemate Chad, and I’m headed for the shower before embarking upon the last week of my day job at the school. We’re only doing half days now since state budget cuts require a furlough for all state employees. We’re taking a pay cut too. It seems a bit heartless to brush all this off and say “we’ll survive,” but those of you my age have grandparents who survived much worse back in the 1930s. Things might get tougher, but hold onto your sanity everyone, and don’t let your hands go idle. In fact, pick up thread, needle and old clothing and try your hand at making something. Crafting whiles away countless hours otherwise given to ennui. Crafting engages your mind and your body and makes you feel really great. So, I digress.

I’ve made some more updates to the service pages. I’ve added photos to the sock creatures page and enfleshed the custom plush jobs page. Next I’ll work on explaining my lessons/classes service then it’s on to illustration.

On the radar for changes I wish to make soon are improvements to the galleries. I’ve got just loads of new work images to post. They’ll cover the bases of what I’m up to these days even though I’ve let so many creatures fly the coop (go to customers) without taking the time to photograph them. That’s a really rotten habit of mine. It comes from lack of planning most times. Anyway. Continue flipping through this new incarnation of stupidcreatures.com and enjoy the content as it develops, Enjoy as well my ginormous biceps. They rather feel shaky at the moment.

More later! Thanks!
John

Thoughts while fatigue sets in

murphymonstermaker@gmail.com — 2009-05-31T00:27:04-04:00

See the first two pairs of arms for the next run of Zombabies?! Cute, huh?

Why am I even here at this hour on a Saturday? I’ve just been to a friend’s house to celebrate her approaching move to Alaska. Then I went to the grocery store, thinking I was hungry for something, and wound up buying a 4 piece sampler of mass-market chocolates, a bag of gummy orange slice candies, an energy drink (which I haven’t had yet) and an Ultimate Spider-Man comic book. I don’t even follow that title. What a strange day.

So. Another train is passing. They use their horns less at night, and I’m not sure how great a thing that is. They kind of need to announce their presence more when it’s darker outside.. I mean, all the deaf hobos would get squashed in the dark of night whether or not a train was blasting its horn. Not sure what I’m thinking there.. I’m getting a bit bleary as the seconds wend on. I thought I’d come back from the party and be awake enough to continue working a little and keep my personal creature quotas met. ..

But I sat down and started eating things instead.

I’m seriously gonna go. I’m disastrously tired..

Good night!

Sock Creature service page and Contact page have been updated.

murphymonstermaker@gmail.com — 2009-05-30T20:02:32-04:00

Hi, Everybody..

I’ve added loads of information to the Sock Creatures section of the services menu. Read it and see what you think. I’m hoping down the line I can find a feature for RapidWeaver that will allow each FAQ question to act as a clicker for a popup window, which carries the answer. As now, the page is quite long with words, and I know nobody has the patience to read in such great detail anything online anymore. But the page as is will do for now.

I may combine the sock creatures service with custom plush items in general. A lot of the parameters are the same, though with custom plush jobs that are not in keeping with traditional Stupid Creatures™ orders, the primary difference is size, complexity, and as a result, cost. I still have to think about all that..

In addition, I’ve fixed the contact page. It’s now a functioning electronic form. Check it out and drop me a line. I look forward to hearing from you!

Anyway.. Off to have pizza with friends. It’s rare I choose friends over studio time. I love it here in my little fabricky world filled with my handmade minions, but I do miss planet earth and its wondrous inhabitants from time to time.

Enjoy your Saturdays, everyone!

John

At long flippin' last, the new website is up!!

murphymonstermaker@gmail.com — 2009-05-29T22:15:24-04:00

Hi, Everybody..

If you’re looking at this, then you’ve arrived at the new StupidCreatures.com. Thanks to a little gem of software called RapidWeaver, I was able to generate this very professional looking site with next to no programming knowledge. And I’m so pleased.

What you’ll find here that’s different from the previous site are these things:
• A new order form for custom stupid creatures.
• Brand new galleries bursting to the brim with pictures of my new work, my classic work, the work of my protégé Ian Dennis, and the work of fans who’ve bought my book.
• Information about the books I’ve written or helped write, and links to help you buy them.
• A map with directions to my studio
• A calendar of events
• A long overdue updated links page
• And of course, this new welcome page that tells you exactly what you need to know first.

A lot of work still needs to be done to the site. Importantly, the services I provide need more explanation and example. A website is never a hundred percent perfect before it’s launched, ‘cause it’d never get launched if a designer waited for perfection. So despite my site’s needs, I launched it ‘cause it was just darned time to launch it, you know?

Visit the contact page. Drop me lines. Tell me what you think of this new site and give me critiques if anything is unclear. I won’t sleep tonight, I’ll bet, for tweaking and fumbling with all the details.

Anyway. I’m due at a backyard concert. Mr. Buggybones (pictured above) wishes you a pleasant Friday night.

Zombabies

murphymonstermaker@gmail.com — 2009-05-28T17:28:50-04:00

Hi, Everybody..

I’ve been making some monsters with a more human twist. If you can call having no lower jaw human.. I started doodling the pattern for these freakish, ghoulish, screaming children in my sketchbook and loved it.

Sunday I cut the pieces for 5 of ‘em and stitched ‘em together by Tuesday. Stuffed ‘em on Wednesday and now I’m sewing them shut.

I’m going with the title “Zombabies” for now. Most of the feedback I’ve received on ‘em has been zombie related. I don’t mind that one bit to be honest.

I’m getting them ready to premier at my studio for the 2009 River Arts District Spring Studio Stroll.. If you can remember all of that. In keeping with the climes of hard times, I’m not gonna be charging much for these. I’m pricing all my new work for the studio stroll at $40 and below. Granted, I’ll have some more sculptural items like Vampero and Somber Dave available to buy for those who want them. They’re priced accordingly.

See? They make such a great set. I can’t wait for you guys to pick ‘em up and squeeze them. They’re made entirely of used clothing, so you know they’re comfy to squeeze. And, if you spill grape juice on ‘em, they can go in the wash! Don’t you love reusing things? Reuse is the way to go!

The real stroke of luck for these guys was a T shirt I had with a big white silkscreened decal, flecked with black pockmarks and holes. I cut it up for teeth and appliquéd it onto their screaming mouths. The teeth look so much more dimensional and decayed than if I’d just used a neutral fabric. Reuse is the way to go, kids. You never know what hidden potential old clothing and ugly silkscreens can have.

Anyway, I look forward to seeing your faces the second weekend in June. Drop me some comments about my Zombabies. I’m interested in your reactions.

This is my Pulled-An-All-Nighter Face

murphymonstermaker@gmail.com — 2009-05-04T10:35:26-04:00

I’m so tired.. but I’m nearly done.. Then I’ll nap, pack and drive to the Charlotte air port.. I can sleep on the plane.. Hurrah!

Musicians moved into my studio building.

murphymonstermaker@gmail.com — 2009-05-04T00:37:38-04:00

The thing about sharing a building with recording artists is that you must deal with noise and repetition, often repetitive noise. Luckily the guys who just moved into my building are nice about it and often offer to turn their music down. And of course, I find their niceness unexpected and disarming so I tell them that the sound doesn’t bother me.

Honestly, the noise isn’t that big of a deal. I know that creating music involves sound, and before a piece is finished, unless a musician is the penny tossing John Cage, the sounds can seem like noise without context.

I’ve lived with musicians before and have endured while songs were written, edited, composed, edited, performed a million times, edited again, then performed to me completed, as though I hadn’t already heard its creation. So I know how to deal. I am grateful that these new recording artists in my building show some talent and are friendly people.

Today however, I had the musicians going plus the expected sounds of construction from the soon-to-be cafe downstairs, on top of ever present (though irregular) train horns. I had headphones. I used them. They worked only slightly, but ultimately just superimposed yet another layer of discordant sound atop the other things my brain was trying desperately to sort.

But alas, it’s nearly one in the morning. All the sound-producing studiomates have gone home. To their beds. I’ll be going there soon too.

Moving Right Along

murphymonstermaker@gmail.com — 2009-05-03T15:46:20-04:00

So.. I’m really procrastinating. But at least I’m doing something worthwhile and productive while I procrastinate. At times like this I wish I had more fingernails to chew. I’ve got literally a day and a half to finish one of the most complex character design jobs I’ve ever been given.

The work is tiny, detailed and meticulous. I’m glad I can see things almost microscopically with my glasses off..

So, what have I been doing to procrastinate? I’ve been updating this website. It’s almost ready to launch. I’m looking forward to getting it up at last. It isn’t as polished as some of those really swanky flash-based sites out there, but that’s the price I pay for using prefab software, having virtually no web skills of my own, and no desire to hire one of those lawyer/plumber hybrids to do the site for me.

I’m so excited, you guys. I’m gonna finish this sculpt job (by the skin of my teeth, it seems.. and trust me, after so many allnighters, one’s teeth in fact grow skin) and hand deliver it to my client/rep/agent in Los Angeles. I don’t go to LA often, but I’ve enjoyed it and I’m looking forward to the trip. I’m looking forward to chewing the rag with my agent and discussing what to do next with my brand.

So.. Gotta get back to sculpting. Enjoy the new website. Give me suggestions for improving it whenever you want. Thanks!

John

Flat on my back on a Sunday morning

murphymonstermaker@gmail.com — 2009-05-03T07:52:45-04:00

The website continues to roll right along. I’m working on it intermittently during a really complex freelance job that’s due soon. Tuesday I’ll be flying out to L.A. to visit my rep and discuss future plans for Stupid Creatures as a mass marketed toy line and entertainment property (cartoon).

New Website Announcement

murphymonstermaker@gmail.com — 2009-04-30T19:02:12-04:00

So, Please bear with this website while I get it working properly. We’ll be going through quite a few new changes over here.

This is what I look like in my studio.

murphymonstermaker@gmail.com — 2009-02-04T13:45:16-05:00

It’s really very exciting. I have a beard. I’m giving my granddad a pinch with my thumb and middle finger. His name’s John. He’s where I got my name.

And a second entry just to see what's what.

murphymonstermaker@gmail.com — 2009-02-04T13:14:03-05:00

Ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya. I’ve got a meeting at my publisher’s in a little while. I can’t wait. They’re rereleasing my box set and I’m making a new monster for it!!!! YAAAAAAY! Now I’ll try and post an image.

Here we go

murphymonstermaker@gmail.com — 2009-02-04T12:50:20-05:00

So, this will be the homepage of my new Stupid Creatures website. I hope to update the look of this abysmally corporate looking web “design” service. I can’t even post my logo properly.